Author Archives: kzmclain

Thursday Thoughts

Posted in Whimsies by

Poopypants

Professor Poopypants

Last week I made a promise to Kaiya that I would take her and her sister and brother to a movie this week. So Tuesday I texted her and asked if she would prefer to see Captain Underpants or Despicable Me 3. (I haven’t seen Despicable Me 1 or Despicable Me 2 – presuming there are such things — but I didn’t figure it would be too hard to catch up with the plot.) Kaiya’s response was that she would like to see DM III but that Mylee would like to see Captain Underpants.  CU has been out longer, it was in the cheap theater, so the answer was a no-brainer. Captain Underpants it was. Meanwhile, I got a text from Addie asking if she and Dagny could come over and hang out. I explained our plans, and invited them to come along. Yay. It was a party. Movie with popcorn and sodas all around. Well, not me because my diet precludes popcorn. Sigh. Anyway, the movie was just okay (though I did laugh out loud at times), but if anyone knows a pre-teenager boy, attendance is a must. The villain’s name was Professor Peepee Diarrheastein Poopypants. Need I say more?

Pet Patrol
I got a phone call from Addie yesterday, confirming that I was going to care for Biscuit while she’s gone. Remember Biscuit-the-Guinea-Pig?……

So I scootered over to get my care instructions, which seem quite complex. At what point during the feeding process does Biscuit chomp down on my finger, I asked Adelaide. She assured me that wasn’t going to happen. I was satisfied with my instructions and was getting ready to leave when Addie asked Maggie Faith, “Do you want Nana to take care of Leah while we’re gone?” Leah? Of course, Maggie said yes, and I met the hermit crab that I didn’t know existed. Frankly, the instructions for Leah seem much more complicated than those for Biscuit, but perhaps that’s because I was getting them from a 9-year-old. Anyway, say a couple of prayers to St. Francis that Biscuit and Leah make it through the next few days.

Bountiful Harvest
That’s an exaggeration. My harvest is far from bountiful. Still, I am eating grape tomatoes from my garden, and have picked a couple of red Big Boy tomatoes, mostly to keep them from the wild life that have taken up residence in our back yard. But my most beautiful harvest to date has been my Swiss chard…..

Between that and my tomatoes, I’m enjoying summer goodness…..

Binging

DS Alec Hardy and DI Ellie Miller, who live in Broadchurch, England. Did you ever see two crabbier looking people?

Yesterday I read a blog that I follow, and learned about a program she was watching called Broadchurch. It’s on Netflix, and is a detective series filmed in Great Britain. I watch so many of those that I get the plots all mixed up. This one is darker than my other current favorite, Father Brown. Anyway, I watched the first episode, and by time I looked up, I had watched six full episodes. I think I took a break for lunch, because I have a vague recollection of eating pho. But the story (which is told over the eight episodes that make up season 1) is compelling. Can’t-Stop-Watching compelling. Word of warning: don’t do what I did and look it up on Wikipedia because for reasons I can’t quite explain, they tell you who the murderer is, something the viewer doesn’t find out until Episode 8. So now I am paying special attention to one particular character, knowing that character is the killer. But the show is incredible, if somewhat broody.

Ciao!

Guest Post: Last Boat to China

Posted in Whimsies by

By Rebecca Borman

A year ago, if someone had asked me the top five places I’d like to travel, my list would have looked something like this:  Egypt, Normandy, London/England, Antarctica, and some sort of river cruise.  Note that China is not on that list.  So, when someone posited the idea of traveling together to China, I hesitated.  She suggested I take a look at a Viking Tour called Roof of the World, and I was intrigued.  I remembered that Japan was never on my list either, but a trip to Tokyo and Kyoto some years ago was a wonderful adventure.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the China itinerary, and before I knew it, I was signed up to go with my new friend and travel companion.  And, thank goodness for that, because it was one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.  And, also, one of the most exhausting!

Make no mistake, this was a trip that required a lot of energy, both mental and physical.  We spent 17 days in China, flying around the country to many cities including Beijing, Xian, Lhasa (in Tibet), Chongqing, Wuhan, and Shanghai.  We stayed in four stunningly beautiful hotels, ate lots and lots of food (much but not all of it Chinese), and had some time to relax on a six-night cruise on the Yangtse River.  We saw dancing (traditional and ballroom) and acrobats.  We were educated by many young, knowledgeable, and enthusiastic tour guides.   And we saw some pretty amazing places.

I had most looked forward to seeing the Terra Cotta Warriors, and they did not disappoint.  In fact, they were even better than I expected.  Eric, who was our Viking tour guide for the whole trip, had studied archaeology at university and had actually done work on the Warriors early in his career.  So, he gave us some great perspective not only on what the site means to China and the world but also on the process by which it is being excavated.  I was surprised to see that most of the statues were discovered in pieces, which are being painstakingly assembled.  The work started in 1976, and it will be a long, long time before the job is finished.

And who wouldn’t love the opportunity to climb the Great Wall of China?  Issues with my back have left me less mobile than I was when I signed up for the trip, so I was afraid I might only be able to look at the Wall from below.   But, climb it I did…with a cane, some help from two strangers, and in a downpour.  As I was making my way up the very slippery steps and stones to the top, I suddenly felt a strong hand on my elbow.  A young Chinese man and his friend had seen me struggling, and they made it their business to help me.  They practically swept me up those stony steps!  It is one of my best memories of the trip.

The most challenging part of the journey was our time in Lhasa, 12,000 feet above sea level.  Most of us were affected by the altitude to some degree.  In fact, the hotel has an “oxygen lounge,” a room into which oxygen is pumped.  I visited there for a while one morning, for some quick rejuvenation.  While we were in Tibet, we visited temples and monasteries, because while much of China is atheist, nearly everyone in Tibet is Buddhist.  I wouldn’t have missed this part of the trip for anything!

Tired as we all were, we longed for our next leg, the cruise on the Yangtze.  This was my first river cruise…I hope not my last.  It was so peaceful to sit on the veranda and watch China go by.  We sailed through the Three Gorges and the locks of the Three Gorges Dam.  We passed miles of terraced farms.  We saw local people washing their clothes in the river.  We passed countless barges hauling just about anything you can think of, from produce to automobiles.  It was a lovely experience.

So, what did I take away from this trip?  An appreciation for the Chinese people, who were cheerful and friendly, although few speak English.  An appreciation for Chinese drivers, who negotiate enormous cities filled with pedestrians, bicycles, motorcycles, buses, three-wheeled bike-trucks, rickshaws, and lots of cars.  The rules of the road seem to be flexible, but the madness happens in silence…no honking allowed!  An appreciation for how hard the Chinese are working to become a modern country.  And, an appreciation for the stunning juxtaposition of ultra-modern cities with ancient sites like the Forbidden City, The Great Wall, and the Terra Cotta Warriors.

When asked if I’d like to go back to China, I give a resounding no.  Not because I didn’t like it, but because I feel absolutely satisfied with what I saw and did.

And when asked if I’d like to go on another river cruise, I give a resounding yes!

 

 

The Curse of Pikachu

Posted in Whimsies by

I’ve said it before, and I will likely say it again. I don’t really understand Pokemon. It doesn’t really matter, however, because many of my grandkids are fans, and Mylee and Cole are fans in particular of a Pokemon character called Pikachu…..

According to Wikipedia, Pikachu is a short, chubby rodent, cheerful in expression. I, however, will tell you that as cheerful as his expression might be, he is evil in intent.

Sunday was Mylee’s 7th birthday, and her parents hosted her party at their house. The party had a Pikachu theme. Pikachu swim suit for Mylee…..

…..a giant Pikachu piñata…..

…..Pikachu gift bags and decorations and birthday cake.

The first sign of trouble was when the majority of Mylee’s party guests showed up without swimsuits, despite the fact that the invitation stated that there would be a water feature and that swimwear was necessary. Bill and I arrived to find Court and Alyx scrambling to dig up all manner of swimsuits so the all of the kids could enjoy this…..

Looks like fun, doesn’t it? Things aren’t always what they seem, however, in the world of Pikachu.

The kids were finally all aptly attired and play began. The water feature had been set up by the place from which it was rented, and a hose had been attached. It quickly became apparent, however, that once the water was turned on, the pressure from the water would result in the hose falling from the top of the slide to the ground. A couple of attempts to reattach it were unsuccessful, so the result was that someone (and when I say someone, I mean Court) had to stand and shoot water onto the inflatable monstrosity for the entire time that the kids would play on it. And are there any circumstances under which the kids would grow tired of sliding down an enormous water slide? Nope.

It was about that time that Alyx leaned over from the deck overlooking the yard and said, “Does anyone own a black Volkswagen SUV parked in front of our house?”

Hmmmm. That would likely be me, as my yellow bug is currently in the shop and I am driving a black Volswagen Golf Alltrak loaner, and it was, indeed, parked in front of their house.

Alyx wasn’t just being curious. The fact of the matter was that one of the mothers dropping off her child had backed into my loaner car, resulting in a big dent on the side…..

The mother who backed into the car couldn’t have been nicer or more repentant, and I got all of her necessary information. Still, I wrecked a loaner car. Me. The one who owns a 14-year-old car with only 90,000 miles. Yes, I know that I didn’t actually wreck the car, but still….

Once we got that sort of settled down, I returned to the water monstrosity, only to learn that while we had been handling car accident matters, it had fallen over. I was holding the thing up so that the kids wouldn’t drown, Court informed me. Pikachu continued to look on with a face that was looking more and more sinister. Is that his tongue sticking out of his mouth?…..

Between Bill, Alyx, and Court, they got the water slide back up and running. Within moments, however, 3-year-old Cole, not understanding the dangers involved in water slides, did not move out of the way quickly enough for a gaggle of 6- and 7-year olds, and was slammed into by one of the other children. No permanent damage, thankfully, but a good sized bruise on his chin.

I’m happy to say that the remainder of the day went accordingly. I think it was because shortly after Cole’s accident, the pinata was broken, as was Pikachu’s spell.

The moral? Don’t ever trust a yellow rodent.

The Sodbuster’s Apprentice

Posted in Whimsies by

This summer, for the first time in many years, Bill isn’t mowing our lawn himself. He had a lawn service mow for a number of years when we first moved into the house. It made sense because he worked full time, as did I. Our lawn is big and takes quite a while to mow. He could think of better things to do with his weekends.

But once he retired – well, semi-retired at any rate – it occurred to him one day that it made no sense to go to a gym and walk on a treadmill when he could be walking around the yard with a lawn mower. Hence, he began mowing himself.

But this summer, as my readers know, he is working on the family room remodel. Working and working and working. So when our granddaughter Adelaide came around sniffing for work that paid cash money, I persuaded him to turn over the gas can, as it were. So every Sunday, like clockwork, Addie has come and mowed the lawn without complaint. She is paid twenty-five bucks and any ice cream she can find in our freezer, and she can almost always find some.  In fact, the reality of ice cream being in the freezer is more certain than Nana remembering to get cash to pay her. Don’t fret, y’all. I am current with my payment and she doesn’t charge a late fee.

But yesterday, when the doorbell rang, I answered it to find both Addie and Dagny standing with smiles on their faces. Hi Nana, they said. We came to mow your lawn. Wait, what?

The two of them traipsed back to the shed, accompanied by Papa to ensure that there were no foxes or raccoons to attack them. (Because, yes, yesterday morning there was a raccoon on our patio looking for food. We are used to the foxes, who have returned in full force. But we haven’t seen a raccoon in our back yard for probably 20 years. Our backyard animal kingdom is starting to make the squirrels look good, though admittedly the squirrels have made themselves scarce since the return of the foxes.)

I presumed Dagny would sit on the patio drinking tonic water (her beverage of choice at my house; go figure) and playing with the iPad. But pretty soon, Bill announced that Addie had an apprentice. And sure enough, Addie had Dagny doing the mowing while she gave instructions.

It was seriously like watching a combination of Tom Sawyer and General Patton. Mowing is so much fun, you should try it, and DO WHAT I SAY ……

I’m not one much for placing a lot of value on birth order. I believe there are too many elements that can influence the nature v. nurture theory. Gender, years between children, only boy or only girl, etc. But there are definitely traits that first-borns have — i.e. perfectionist, natural leader, ambitious, — and Addie has them all. If the United States is in the unfortunate position that there has not yet been a woman president by time Adelaide Grace turns 35, I assure you she will fill that role.

When the lawn was mowed, the mower was back where it belonged, and the gate was locked up, I informed the two girls that I had a twenty dollar bill and a five dollar bill, which I would give to Addie and trust that she would make it right with Dagny.

Addie’s going to give me ten dollars, Dagny informed me.

Now, I believe strongly in our Capitalist system – what the market will bear, and all that jazz. But the deal Addie struck with her sister reminded me of a blog post I wrote In June of 2014. Still, I zipped my lip because Dagny seemed happy as a clam. And to be fair, though Dagny did much of the work, Addie did teach her the ropes and did stick with her throughout the lawn mowing experience. And it’s only fair that the teacher earns more than the student.

And, of course, there’s that ice cream in the freezer.

This post linked to Grand Social.

Saturday Smile: Company’s Here

Posted in Whimsies by

Papa Bill and I had three overnight guests last night while their Mom and Dad had a much-needed break. Dinner with friends, and a chance to sleep through the night without a small nighttime visitor named Cole and the ability to sleep in until sometime past 6. It’s the small things.

These three always make me smile because they show up with their little suitcases like they are on vacation……

Mylee, Kaiya, and Cole look like they’re moving in!

Have a great weekend.

Friday Book Whimsy: The Silent Sister

Posted in Book Reviews, Whimsies by

Despite the fact that I had only previously read only one book by this very prolific author – and didn’t particularly like it – I gave this one a try. I had read a series of books that didn’t satisfy. They were either extremely dull or extremely violent. Sometimes I can take a bit of violence; I can never take dullness.

I found The Silent Sister, by Diane Chamberlain, to be quite enjoyable. It was neither dull nor violent, though the story was action-packed. I’m not sure if I was just in the right mood for the story, but this was a book that, if it wasn’t true that I couldn’t put it down,  I at least looked forward to picking it up and reading it.

The main character Riley’s sister Lisa supposedly committed suicide when she was a teenager, following the murder of her music teacher. Lisa was suspected of the crime; hence the suicide. Now, years later, Riley’s parents are both dead, and Riley finds herself going through their things to prepare the house for sale. In the process, she finds documents that suggest that Lisa is not, in fact dead at all, but merely living elsewhere under an assumed name.

Riley is understandably perplexed and begins to try to find out what’s going on. In the process, she discovers that there are secrets about her family – particularly her father – that she would never have suspected.

The plot had many twists and turns. While the outcome was admittedly not a total shocker, the process getting there, and the author’s writing style, kept me interested until the very end.

I don’t think this novel would fool many people, I still can recommend the book as a very enjoyable read that will keep you on your toes to try and stay one step ahead of Riley.

Here is a link to the book.

Thursday Thoughts

Posted in Whimsies by

Beesness is Fine
A followup on yesterday’s post…..Dave is still in the apiary business, despite his run-in with one of the bees. He’s apparently never had a reaction to a bee sting before like he did this time. Of course, I’m not sure he has ever been stung just below his eye. Anyway, he’s not giving up on his buzzing friends, so D’s Honey might still be in my future.

Victory is Mine, I think
And speaking of stinging insects, I mentioned also in yesterday’s post that every summer we battle what I guess are paper wasps. I didn’t go out and get my entomology degree last night, so I can’t guarantee what they are. All I know is that despite many efforts over the years, I’ve never found anything that even remotely works. Until now. I found at Home Depot these wasp traps…..

They are nothing more than green and yellow things you hang where your wasps are flying that are sticky as can be. Within a day, the traps are covered with wasps. Of course, the down side is that it captures any flying insect that comes to check it out. However, it must be boring to most insects because we have captured surprisingly few bugs other than wasps. A few flies (and who misses those?), and sadly, one lady bug……

I just put up a new one yesterday, so we will see how long it takes to fill it up. By the way, I am not in business with the company that manufactures these traps. I just am happy they work…..

 Climb Every Mountain
I was telling a friend recently how much Dagny likes to climb, and that she was, in fact, taking climbing classes…..

My friend cheerfully volunteered her husband to take Dagny climbing outdoors in Boulder. It’s a safe climb and she would have two people accompanying her, my friend said. While Dagny loves to climb, she has never climbed outdoors. But when I suggested it to Dagny, she was quickly – QUICKLY – all in. So tonight my friend and her husband (who was volunteered, but cheerfully agreed) are coming to meet Dagny and her family to make sure they all trust one another. It will also give Scott a chance to see if he thinks Dagny is really ready for the challenge. My friend mentioned going to watch Dagny, but I’m not certain I will have the nerve. We’ll see.

Indoor Camping
Our family room is still a mess, but Bill is making progress. He spends every day working in that room. Thus far he has the drywall up and now he is taping it and trying to decide whether or not to have someone come in and finish it with texture. Yesterday he spent the day cleaning our fireplace with some cleaning solution strong enough that it required him to wear gloves. He did this in preparation for the next action, which is painting our fireplace white. Every night he pulls chairs into the room so that we can watch television and relax a bit. And then he pulls them out again in preparation for the next day’s work. It’s a seemingly never ending project, but he is definitely making progress.

Ciao.

It’s Not My Beesness

Posted in Whimsies by

I’ve been hoarding this particular blog story like a survivalist hoards bottled water and cases of beef jerkey. It’s just such a good story. I wanted the time to be right.

The time, my friends, is right. The story must be told. Here’s why…..

Dave fought the bees, and the bees won. This round, at least.

Here’s the thing. My stepson David and his brood have become apiarists. Beekeepers.

Their adventure with bees officially started in late April, though the plans have been in the works for considerably longer than that. And let me be clear. The adventure really is Dave’s and Dagny’s. After all of these years, Jll is not surprised by anything Dave does, so beekeeping didn’t raise an eyebrow. The rest of the kids are marginally interested, but have other things grabbing their attention far more than the bees that have taken residence in the southwest corner of their urban back yard…..

We all know the plight of bees in the world today. For a variety of reasons, including increased use of pesticides, loss of habitat, and disease, honeybees are disappearing. And if bees disappear, the planet loses more than simply honey. Bees pollinate trees and vines that grow almonds, pears, avocados, grapes. What? No wine?

Remember The Bee Movie? Jerry Seinfeld freaked us all out with his animated movie that demonstrated what would happen if there were no more bees. Shortly after that movie was released, Jen, BJ, and Maggie were all eating lunch al fresco, when a bee started buzzing by their table. Jen is allergic to bees, so without giving it a second thought, Maggie swatted the bee with her shoe when it landed on the table, swiftly bringing about its demise. BJ nearly had a heart attack. Do you understand what is happening to the bees?  he asked. Do you understand what would happen to Mom should the bee sting her? was Maggie’s reply.

I don’t dislike bees. I actively dislike wasps, yellow jackets, and hornets, all of which are aggressive and live in my backyard. I kill them every chance I get, despite Dagny’s horror each time she witnesses the murder. For heaven’s sake, I tell her. You guys are running around without shoes on! But bees don’t give me angst because they generally aren’t interested in stinging me. In fact, Alastair told me that despite the fact that he has a bee colony living in his back yard, he has only been stung once, and the bee that did the dirty deed was dead. It was simply lying on its back with its stinger in the air and Alastair stepped on it with the above-mentioned bare feet.

Dagny has been stung on at least one occasion, and the guilty bee was alive when it struck. I was with Dagny shortly after, and I will tell you that besides the pain from the sting, the fact that the bee bit the hands that feed it (it was actually her butt, and she doesn’t feed them) really hurt her feelings. Why, Nana, why?…..

 

To date, Dave’s and Dagny’s bees are increasing in number. Recently, they have been observed bearding, which is when they accumulate roughly in the shape of a beard for a couple of reasons: 1) It’s hot outside and they are trying to cool down the inside of the hive so that Her Majesty the Queen is comfortable; or 2) They are getting ready to swarm, meaning take off for another hive. Apparently Dave and Dagny’s bees were just hot because they’re still there……

The bees have also begun the process of filling in the honeycomb with wax, which, if I understand it, means they will begin producing honey soon.

It won’t be long now before we will be seeing our first batches of D’s Honey, so get your order in early.

Unless, of course, Dave dumps the whole hive in the river in disgust once he can again see out of his left eye.

This post linked to Grammy’s Grid.

I Smell a Rat

Posted in Whimsies by

About a month ago, my stepdaughter Heather posted this on Facebook:

After finally convincing Micah that we aren’t going to buy him a sea turtle for his birthday because there are some animals you just can’t have as pets, he lobbied (or perhaps filibustered is a better word) until he fell asleep for a pet rat instead. I know exactly what it feels like to want a pet that much and would now like to publicly apologize to my mom for all of those conversations I subjected her to in my childhood.

Heather and Micah

Heather, who has an intense allergy to dogs and cats, has always owned dogs and cats. She does to this day. She just takes allergy medications. Whatevah. But according to her mother’s response on Heather’s Facebook post, one of her many pets included a hamster which got loose and ended up in the wall, requiring cutting a hole in said wall to rescue it. What we do for our kids.

Most of my grandkids are allergic to pets with fur. Petting dogs has sent both Kaiya and Mylee to the ER because of asthma. I might be wrong, but I think Addie, Alastair, and Maggie Faith are all allergic to fur. Maybe Dagny has escaped the curse. And I don’t think that Joseph or Micah have allergies. Apparently, at least, not to sea turtles.

I think that Kaiya, Mylee, and Cole have accepted the fact that there will be no pets in their immediate future, at least not pets with fur. The others, however, all consistently beg for pets. The McLains, for example, have gone through a variety of fish, from the simple goldfish to more complicated aquariums. I have been on call to feed these fish on a number of occasions when they have been out of town. There’s a lot of responsibility involved in this task, let me tell you. When you kill Nemo, there can be no puppy to make up for the loss.

But a while back, Addie began what Heather correctly referred to as lobbying for a guinea pig. Yes, I know that guinea pigs have fur, but that didn’t stop Addie from making her case. Endlessly. Her mother, I think, gave in pretty easily. Though she isn’t a fan of the rodent (and really, how can one be?), she was willing to give in as long as Addie bought it herself, and took full responsibility for its care. Her father took a bit more persuasion, I believe. Still, meet Biscuit….

I have been offered the opportunity to hold Biscuit with my own two hands, and have politely declined. I have, however, been willing to give him (her?) a little pat on its tiny, furry head. Though a guinea pig just isn’t that far removed from a rat, I must admit that Biscuit is pretty cute. The guinea pig also makes cute little guttural sounds (that may be simple precursors to chomping a finger).

I’m on call to feed Biscuit when Addie and her family are out of town in a week or so. Please, St. Francis, make me a channel of your peace, and let Biscuit live and not chomp.

In the meantime, Dagny has allegedly begun lobbying for a pet snake. Should that happen, rest assured my friends, I will not pet its tiny snaky head. I will not even feed the snake little crickets while the family travels. No sireebob. That job will be left to one of the other grandmothers.

Two more things: 1. Addie has already said she intends to purchase a friend for Biscuit, and it will be called Gravy; and 2. the jury is still out on whether or not Micah gets a pet rat. Now that Heather’s mom has reminded her about the need to cut the hamster out of the wall, a second thought might be given to rat ownership.

Surprise!

Posted in Whimsies by

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. – Dylan Thomas

Those “decade” birthdays can be enough to kill a guy. I remember when I turned 30; I was in the midst of a divorce and had a fever of 103 because of strep throat. Had anyone even come close to making a “you’re over the hill” remark, I believe I would have killed them.

I was a bit worried about my 60th, because, well, SIXTY. But as it was, I was rewarded for my longevity with a wonderful party in which professional chefs taught my grands and me to make pasta. And I’m a long way – ages, really – before I have to face my 70th.

But my sister Jen is looking right into the eyes of her 60th. She will celebrate that big event on September 14, when her birthday actually falls. However, a couple of months ago, her daughter Maggie had a brainstorm. Really. The light bulb went on over her head like in a cartoon. Why wait until September to celebrate? A landmark birthday like that should be celebrated early and often. She began planning a surprise birthday party for her mother during the time that she and her family would be visiting from AZ.

The key word in this whole scenario is “surprise.” You see, Jen is just short of being psychic. Let’s just call her intuitive. Extremely intuitive. I don’t think she has been surprised about anything in 40 years. For this reason, we were all sneaky to the point of being paranoid with the planning of this event. Not a word to Austin and Lilly. No text messages, lest Jen accidentally spies one.

Perhaps it was the fact that it was July 8 and not September 14, because why would anyone be thinking surprise birthday party in the middle of summer when you’re birthday’s not until – as Nat King Cole would say — the autumn leaves drift by the window?

Using a complicated plan that involved Maggie’s husband Mark claiming a friend of his was in town and this alleged friend wanted to meet Mark’s wife and children, they were able to get Jen to come along by promising dinner at a favorite restaurant across the street from the actual party site following this introductory meeting. The plan was full of holes, and yet, it worked. The look on Jen’s face when she walked into the restaurant only to see friends and family pop out with masks made out of a frighteningly surreal Jen-Baby Heads was priceless……

It took Jen only a few moments to get a handle on what was happening to her. As for her family, Mark and BJ were relieved to be free from their responsibilities, Maggie was just short of throwing up from nervousness, Austin was mortified (as only a 6-year-old boy can be) to have everyone staring at him, and Lilly, well, she was just happy to have a reason to party…..

Our stepmother Shirley was one of those present for Jen’s surprise party.

The party was held at Los Tarascos Restaurant in downtown Fort Collins, where the staff couldn’t have been nicer. They didn’t even tear up that much when glitter was sprinkled onto the bar. Really, their sobs were barely audible. Following a delicious taco bar, it was time for cake. Or, cakes, really. A lemon raspberry bundt cake and a double chocolate bundt cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes. As we were putting out the cakes, Maggie said to me, “Mom says she doesn’t want anyone to sing happy birthday. What do you think?”

Here’s what I thought, and Lilly too…..

As poet Dylan Thomas suggests, we won’t let Jen go gentle into that good night. It’s only July. We still have a few more months of celebrating her 60th!