Just as Lucy told Charlie Brown that he was the Charlie Browniest, I must tell you that of all the Mark Jensens in the world, Maggie’s husband is the Mark Jenseniest. Just about the same time as Maggie found out she was pregnant with their firstborn Austin, now 7…..

…..Mark installed in their downstairs bathroom a kids’ toilet seat. It fit right inside the adult toilet seat and would be perfect for when his child would be potty-trained some two or three years later. A bit premature, we all thought. Still, it is Mark Jensen, who lives by the Boy Scout motto Be Prepared.

Now, clearly I am not at their house every minute of every day, but as far as I know, that kids’ toilet seat was not used by either Austin or his sister Lilly. Yet, the seat remained steadfastly placed on the toilet seat in the bathroom that I, as well as all of their family and guests, use regularly. I cannot speak for others, but I struggled with the blessed seat every time I used their toilet. It always came down when it shouldn’t or wouldn’t go up when it should.

Finally, last week, I poked a bit of fun at Mark, asking him something side-splitting, perhaps along the lines of will you finally take that seat off when Lilly leaves for college. I know. Hilarious, right?

When Mark and Maggie arrived at Bec’s house on New Year’s Day, much to my surprise, Mark had a belated Christmas gift for me. It was gift-wrapped and all. You have probably guessed by now…..

Since all of my grandkids to date are potty-trained (yay Cole!), it remains to be seen just how long I will hang on to the blasted thing. But Mark Jensen made me laugh!

Have a great weekend.

Reality
Things are starting to settle down a bit now. Jen has returned to Colorado, making many of us very sad (especially two little kids named Austin and Lilly). I spent yesterday afternoon straightening up the house, planning meals that I will actually prepare here in my very own kitchen, buying groceries, coaxing Rosie-the-Roomba to vacuum the whole house, and generally behaving as an Arizona homemaker. There was about an inch of dust on everything, and now the surfaces are clean, at least for the time being. Talk about having to rest up from vacation! I have been very tired the past few days. Despite the moderate temperature, however, it can’t all be rest and relaxation.

Is It Hot In Here?
And speaking of moderate temperatures, yesterday I finally succumbed to the fact that the 70s are here to stay. In previous years, temperatures this time of year have hovered in the high 50s and low 60s, sometimes even lower. So I found myself putting on my jeans and a sweater every morning, only to find myself extremely warm by mid-afternoon. Yesterday I just faced reality and put on a t-shirt and my capris. By the way, I’m not complaining All-You-People-Who-Are-Facing-Freezing-Temperatures. I love the warm weather and pretty flowers and wouldn’t trade places with you for anything…..

Herby
I vowed to myself that one of the first things I was going to do when we arrived in AZ was to plant some herbs in pots. I managed to get the herbs planted within a few days. My thinking was that I would be able to bring them indoors when it gets cold, but because our weather has been so mild, I haven’t even had to move them from the spot they like on Bill’s outdoor kitchen. I planted butter lettuce…..

….. and thyme, dill, basil, and parsley…..

A Fiver Saved is a Fiver Earned
One of my Facebook friends (and a real-life friend as well) posted something this week that caught my eye. He said that last January he challenged himself to place every $5 bill that landed in his pocket into a jar. It just about killed him when he would pay for something with a $20 bill and get three fives as change. Still, he apparently was faithful about saving those fives. He counted his cashola the other day, and there was $715 in the jar. I think it’s a great way to save some money. My problem is that I pay for nearly everything with a credit card and then pay off the card at the end of the month. I do, however, save my change. It accumulates a lot slower than $5 bills, however.

Cheers
About 3 o’clock yesterday afternoon, Bill emerged from the garage (where he had been working on his car) and suggested we have a cocktail party outside on the patio. I told him I was happy to join him, but I felt it was a bit early for a cocktail party. He seemed to disagree, as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. For about a half hour or so, I watched him drink his beer. Finally he said to me, “Kris, on New Year’s Eve, we watched the ball drop in NYC at 10 o’clock and pretended it was midnight. Why can’t you just pretend it’s 5 o’clock this afternoon as well?”

Done…..

Ciao.

Yesterday morning I awoke around 6 and opened up the doors of our AZ house the way I always do so as to let in the fresh morning air and listen to the birdies sing. I wasn’t awake longer than 10 minutes or so when my phone binked, indicating a text message. It was from our daughter Heather, who lives in Vermont. Oh no, I thought in typical Nana fashion. Who died?

Good morning from beautiful Vermont, Heather  texted. She included a screen shot of the temperature. It was 24 degrees below zero at 8:15 a.m. There were two pieces of good news: 1) The wind chill was no colder, also a minus 24. This was not surprising to me as had the wind chill been colder, it would have been Neptune; and 2) The high temperature was going to reach 12 degrees ABOVE zero. A veritable heat wave in Neptune/Vermont terms.

Here are the forecasted temperatures over the next few days – the top in Montpelier, VT, and the bottom in Mesa, AZ…..

WINNING.

Still, Vermonters never complain. Why would they, as it obviously would do no good. They also never let the weather stop them from an activity. I’m not certain about 24 degrees below zero, but the more common winter Vermont daytime temperature of 25 degrees would not stop the Montpelier schools from sending the little darlings out for recess. Don’t forget to fasten the top button of your jacket, Billy.

On the other hand, the 60 degree temperature when Maggie, Jen, Austin, Lilly and I set off to do some errands at an outdoor mall yesterday required hooded jackets for the kids. Children of the desert have thin skins. They would have been horrified to see our 12-year-old grandson Alastair run out into the snow barefooted on Christmas Eve to help us unload the car. Without flinching.

Jen and Maggie stood in line at the Apple Store to get their iPhones’ batteries replaced along with a multitude of other poor saps who own iPhone 6 or 6S and whose phones are running out of battery power 10 minutes after they are turned on. Have we installed something on the telephones that require you to purchase a new phone after a couple of years? Heavens no. We would never do that because, well, we would never do that. (To be fair, Jen and Maggie got really good service. No new batteries, but really good service.)

In the meantime, Austin and Lilly and I wandered down the street to the children’s area. There was a playground that was closed due to maintenance, and most of the stores were not yet opened. However, there were a couple of little rides that the two kids enjoyed as we waited for the stores to open…..

Austin makes this bull riding look like something at the National Western Stockshow Rodeo.

As soon as the clock struck 10, we wandered into a pet store and ogled all of the adorable little puppies. I could hear Sarah McLachlan singing in the background as the dogs looked pitifully at us through the bars of the cages. I told the kids to pick out which puppy they would buy if all was fair in the world. After a great deal of time and a lot of consideration, Lilly picked the scraggly-looking Chihuahua and Austin chose the Dalmatian. As for me, it was the Yorkie all the way.

Our adventure concluded when Maggie and Jen picked us up and we drove over to our niece Heather’s house to say hello and give the kids a chance to play for a little bit. Austin buddied up with his boy cousins and Lilly and Faith began playing dress-up. Before we knew it, both were dressed as the Princess Belle and playing with baby dolls. Ah, to be a kid again.

I couldn’t help but enjoy this yellow rose, which would not be growing in Vermont…..

And in a matter of seconds, these two girlies went from this…..

…..to this…..

A January day in the desert.

Let’s All Go to the Movies
As a member of the Screen Actors’ Guild, Bill gets copies of many of the movies that are up for SAG awards (which are often the same movies that are up later on for the Academy Awards). Out of the batch of movies he has gotten access to thus far, I recognize a total of one name. That doesn’t really say as much about the movie industry as it does about me. Most of the movies I’ve seen this year have been in the company of children ranging from 3 to 10. Ask me about Coco, Despicable Me 3, Captain Underpants, or The Emoji Movie, and I can give you a recommendation (yes, yes, yes, a big fat NO). But anyhoo, thus far Bill and I have watched only two of the movies – The Darkest Hour, starring Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill as he considers his plan of action following Dunkirk (the battle, not the movie) and The Big Sick, starring Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Holly Hunter, and Ray Romano in a comedy/love story based on the true story of an interracial couple dealing with family issues when the woman becomes ill. We liked them both very much. That’s a good sign since last year we liked almost none of the movies.

Frozen
When Bill and I were in AZ in November, I went to the fancy Fry’s grocery store that is about a 15 minute drive from my house. Fry’s is AZ’s version of Kroger, and this particular grocery store is brand new and has everything ranging from a sushi bar to a wine/beer bar. As we walked around, I noticed a bar located between the deli and the meat market  that featured lots of different frozen meals sold by the pound. It intrigued me, and I was checking it out when a woman who was scooping one of the meals into a bowl asked me if I had ever tried any of the choices. I told her no, that I had never seen anything like it before. She raved about the  ease and tastiness of the food. So earlier this week when I did my first shop to restock my larder, I decided I would try one of the meals. I chose shrimp with pesto al fredo sauce. The shrimp are frozen with the sauce……

You place the food in a skillet and cook for 8 to 12 minutes. As it cooks, the sauce is released from the frozen protein and becomes what really did turn out to be a very good dinner…..

Dinner for two under $6 and ready in 12 minutes. Who could ask for anything more?

Come to Jesus
Tuesday night Jen cooked her traditional dinner for Bill and me, her daughter Maggie and her family, Bec, and our brother Dave. She made a delicious beef tenderloin with lots of sides. It was a good meal. Before we started, 3-year-old Lilly (who attends a Christian preschool) asked if she could pray. Maggie told her that of course she could bless our food. Lilly proceeded to say a prayer she learned in school that was basically a prayer before bed. But whatever. God loves to listen to children’s prayers. She finished, and we began eating. About halfway through dinner, Lilly once again broke into prayer. I was beginning to feel like I was at a Baptist revival meeting. God bless the children….

Jesus loves me this I know ’cause the bible tells me so.

Ciao.

Bill and I awoke Christmas morning at the crack of dawn, eagerly anticipating the arrival of Santa Claus. No, just kidding. We were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our Uber driver who would take us to the airport where we would leave on a jet plane for our winter in AZ.

It’s the same routine as every other year. For the last week before Christmas, we wrap gifts and buy last-minute items and grocery shop two or three times in preparation for the two big meals that we prepare on December 23 and December 24. On Christmas Eve Day, we take down our two trees, remove the lights from the trees outside, take down the pine wreathes; in other words, remove any semblance of Christmas except for the presents to take for dinner that night. By 11:59 p.m. on Christmas Eve, all of the food has been eaten and all of the gifts have been opened. We have Joy to the Worlded, Silent Nighted, and Hark the Herald Angels Sanged until we are blue in the face. We have given thanks to God for sending us his only son via the Virgin Mary at a lovely church service. We have collapsed into bed, knowing that the alarm would sound sooner than we hoped.

I will be perfectly honest with you. It wasn’t until the Uber driver was due to arrive that I even thought to tell Bill Merry Christmas. The thing is, by Christmas Day, I’ve pretty much moved on. Christmas is dead to me. I have moved on and am planning what to make for our New Year’s dinner. Valentine’s Day looms in the distance.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not sad about that at all. I have celebrated plenty and am just looking forward to settling in my airplane seat and let someone else cook for a few days.

Our Christmas with Court and his family was lovely, as usual. I asked him a week before our celebration if he wanted something different than the racks of lamb that I always make. Duh, no. So we ate our lamb and Brussel sprouts and big slices of pecan pie before we opened our gifts. The flurry of unwrapping resulted in three happy kids. Happiest of all was Cole, who proclaimed any gift that he thought interesting to be “MINE.”…..

The next day we changed up tradition a bit. Bill and I generally go to the 4 o’clock candle service with Dave and Jll and the kids. This year, there was a 9 o’clock service, and Jll was convinced her kids would enjoy it. So instead of a sit-down meal, we had heavy appetizers with them, and with Allen and Emma. Emma, who was born and grew up in Paris, France, served us foie gras that her mother had sent from France. It was delicious, as were all the appetizers…..

We opened gifts – lots of gifts – and then headed to the 9 o’clock service. As it turns out, it wasn’t such a great idea. The service was beautiful, but the kids were tired. All the kids but Addie slept through at least part of the service. Maggie Faith full-out fell asleep on the floor of the church between the seat and the pew ahead of us. Jll woke her up to walk in the bitter cold to the car after the service ended. That, as you can imagine, made her very happy.

This time, unlike last year, Bill and I had our correct seats on the airplane Christmas Day and didn’t cause one little bit of disturbance. It’s true we flew a different airline since Spirit didn’t welcome us back after last year’s debacle. Just kidding. They would have taken our money but we chose Frontier for their roomy seats. Just kidding again. As usual, we flew to Phoenix with my sister Jen.

We finished our day with my brother and sister-in-law David and Sami, who had prepared an astonishingly good New York roast – something with which this nana was not familiar. Dessert was prepared by our niece Brooke. Carmel apple pie. I’m glad Santa saved us a piece…..

We have entered our Season of Beef, beginning with the roast Christmas night, continuing with Jen’s traditional Boxing Day beef tenderloin that we enjoyed last night, and on to New Year’s Eve Prime Rib. Let the clogging of the arteries begin.