Vigilance

Anyone who grew up in the West or Midwest has heard of the National Western Stock Show, held each January in Denver. The National Western Stock Show is to cowboys what the Super Bowl is to football fans. Bill has been a member of the National Western for over 30 years, though admittedly he’s not a cowboy. We used to make an annual trek to the National Western complex just to walk around and see all the things we couldn’t live without if we were ranchers. And each year, as part of our activities, we would attend a rodeo.

1203338132_9oC39-MI always enjoyed the rodeo, but the activity of which I was most leery was the calf roping. The handlers would open a gate and send out a calf, which would run as fast as it could across the arena. A cowboy on a horse in strong pursuit would then twirl his rope and toss it (he hoped) around the neck of a calf, bringing said calf to a halt. A sudden halt. Gaaak.

I would always flinch, despite the announcer’s annual assurance that the calf wasn’t hurt by the practice, nope, not one teeny little bit. That sudden stop from a 30 mph run via a rope around its neck didn’t cause a bit of angst or pain for that little fella. Nosireebob. Nobody, however, asked the calf.

family room tree

Instead of a big tree in the family room, I am happy with my little table-top tree.

I thought about those poor calves yesterday when I realized it was the first Sunday of Advent. I think you will all agree with me that Christmas comes earlier each year. Oh, I know that it actually comes at the same time – December 25 – but it seems earlier because the season starts earlier. I remember when I wouldn’t start my Christmas shopping until December 1 or so. This year, by the second week in November I was a basket case because my shopping wasn’t done. Or started. Christmas decorations had been up in the stores for weeks. By mid-November, I had already seen several of my least favorite commercials – the ones with some kind of expensive car sitting in someone’s driveway with a huge bow attached to the top of the car. Seriously, those commercials get on my very last nerve. I challenge you all to tell me even one person who got a car as a Christmas present. And if they did, I’m certain – CERTAIN – there was no bow.

Grandkids decorating the angel tree.

Grandkids decorating the angel tree.

But I digress. As our deacon lit the first of the Advent candles, I came to my senses. Stop it right now, I told myself. Because you see, I had gotten so caught up in worrying about buying  Christmas presents and wrapping them and decorations and baking and such that I had forgotten to slow down and enjoy the season, which really is only now beginning. I felt like the calf coming to a sudden stop. Except I didn’t have a rope around my neck.

St. Luke’s gospel reminded me that this is the time of year when I should be thinking not only about the birth of Baby Jesus, but also about the Son of Man coming in glory someday. Jesus said “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness AND THE ANXIETIES OF DAILY LIFE….. Be vigilant at all times.”

I’ll be perfectly honest. I’m not too worried about my becoming drowsy from carousing and drunkenness (though I did enjoy the Beaujolais nouveau at our wonderful Thanksgiving dinner). I am worried, however, of getting so caught up in the anxieties that this season invariably brings to us that I forget that I should instead be enjoying this time of joy. The house doesn’t have to look perfect. The kids won’t die if they don’t have enough presents. Slow down, and  remember that Advent is a time to prepare for the birth of Jesus.

This post linked to the GRAND Social

Saturday Smile: What Up?

This past week I was able to be in the same room with all of my grandkids on numerous occasions, making me so very happy. For the first time in well, maybe, ever, ALL nine of our grandkids helped decorate the angel tree that lives in our living room at Christmastime. At one point, Joseph came over to me and said, “Nana, did you know that almost all of the ornaments on this tree are angels?” I explained to him that in fact ALL of the ornaments were angels which is why I call it my angel tree. He smiled and continued putting angels on the tree.

all the grands angel tree

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, and also bringing a smile to my face was seeing our son Court with his youngest son Cole, dressed for the cold weather and snow and ready to feast. Since they’re dressed like twins, I will tell you that Court’s the one on the right….

court cole twins

But while I did a lot of smiling this past week, one thing clearly took the cake in the smile department. Three-year-old Micah is a natural clown. And 10-year-old Alastair doesn’t often have boy cousins with which to play. One evening the two boys went off together to play. After about a half hour, Alastair appeared and presented to us the newest musical sensation — Micah the Rapper…..

Rapper Micah 2015

There you have it…..MC Micah. Most rap stars wear shoes.

Have a great weekend.

Friday Book Whimsy: Girl Waits With Gun

searchOne day in 1914, three young women – Constance, Norma, (both 30-something) and Fleurette (16) Kopp are riding in their horse-drawn buggy to their farm from the nearby New Jersey town in which they had been shopping, and are slammed into by an automobile. The car’s driver is the rich, alcoholic, and ill-mannered proprietor of the silk manufacturer that employs many of the townspeople.

Thus begins author Amy Stewart’s first novel, Girl Waits With Gun. While it is admittedly a novel, it is largely based on a true story about the ensuing troubles after Constance – a very tall and intimidating woman – becomes obsessed with getting the money owed for the damage from Henry Kaufman. Her efforts bring her in contact with – and eventually lead her to provide considerable help to – the local sheriff. Constance Kopp goes on to become one of the nation’s first female deputy sheriffs.

While the premise perhaps sounds dull, the novel is actually interesting and fun to read. The Kopp threesome are enormously entertaining, just as I suspect they were in real life.

While the three women – both in the novel and apparently in real life – present themselves as sisters, the reader learns early on that Fleurette is actually Constance’s daughter. This fact is unbeknownst to Fleurette herself, and only marginally meaningful to the story told in Girl Waits With Gun.

There are actually two stories that run parallel. The first is based on fact – that of the accident and the events that followed. The second, related, tells the story of a young woman who had been employed at the silk factory and got taken advantage of by Henry Kaufman, who subsequently takes away the child she bears.

The book is a fairly quick read, and provided a lot of entertainment. It’s fun to see how something we so take for granted today (women in law enforcement) was actually the result of a hard-fought battle.

Great book for a book club discussion.

Here is a link to the book.

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Thursday Thoughts: The Wednesday Edition

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I am giving you my Thursday Thoughts a day early, and am not creative enough to change the name.

A Toothy Matter
Monday when we all went climbing (don’t you like how I make it sound like I climbed too?), the first thing some of the kids did was use the bathroom. A few minutes later, Dagny came out of the bathroom with a piece of paper towel rolled in a ball. “Nana, will you hold this for me?” she asked. I agreed to hold it and asked her what it was. “My tooth,” she said. “I just pulled it in the bathroom and I don’t want to lose it.” Well, then. It remained safely tucked into the pocket of my jeans for the remainder of the day until we joined them for dinner. I never actually looked at it, because she described in great detail the sheer unattractiveness of it. And, by the way, no tooth fairy for Dagny. She told me she’s saving all her teeth. I’m not sure why. Perhaps one day when she is a famous-something-or-other (which she undoubtedly will be), the teeth will sell on Ebay for a great sum of money.

Dagny's tooth

Dagny’s tooth is wrapped up somewhere in that paper towel.

Another Toothy Matter
Dagny wasn’t alone in her tooth misery. Yesterday afternoon Bill and I were eating lunch. Chicken wings were on our menu. We were enjoying them immensely when suddenly Bill made a funny sound and spit out a crown that had come off in his mouth. Whaaaaat? Two days before Thanksgiving? That’s bad luck. I offered to carry it in my pocket in a paper towel, but he declined my offer. The tooth is currently temporarily glued back on and a dentist appointment is scheduled.

Half a Cow

Top - uncooked prime rib roast; Bottom - roasted and sliced and ready to eat!

Top – uncooked prime rib roast; Bottom – roasted and sliced and ready to eat!

Since we are being visited by the Vermont McLains, I offered to cook dinner for the whole fam damily on Tuesday night. And because I’m a glutton for punishment, I decided to serve a prime rib dinner. Yes, my friends, a mere two days before Thanksgiving, we sat down en masse to eat half a cow. Twelve pounds of deliciousness. And a cooking adventure only two days before the cooking-adventure-of-the-year that is Thanksgiving. Call me crazy, but don’t forget to call me to dinner. (Bada bing!) And, by the way, it’s only a couple of times a year that every single solitary one of my grandkids are under one roof, and last night was one of those nights. My heart is full of happiness as I watch them play together. And play they did, taking only a break for dinner. Then they played some more until, one by one, they began sidling up to their respective parents and looking ready for bed.

Last Last Shop
My sister Bec and I have a running Thanksgiving joke. We do what we always call our “last grocery shop” for preparation of Thanksgiving dinner. And then we do another “last shop” and then another and another. We will text each other and say we are doing our fourth “last shop.” So yesterday morning, I did what I hope is my last last shop, and I’m not sorry about that. The grocery stores were nuts, as they always are the days just prior to Thanksgiving. We went to Costco on Sunday during the Bronco game because we thought it would be quieter. No such luck. Apparently everyone had the same idea. And the shopping carts at Costco are huge and it appeared everyone left their common sense at home because there were innumerable instances of blocked aisles as people looked at books or Christmas decorations or pumpkin pies. But I tried to be patient. Patience, unfortunately, is not one of my virtues.

I won’t be posting a blog tomorrow in honor of Thanksgiving. Enjoy the day, your friends and family, and be thankful for all of our gifts. Happy Thanksgiving.

High Climbers

Rockin Jamn Neither Bill nor I are terribly fond of heights. Bill is perhaps even more leery of looking down from on-high than I, but the difference is that he challenges himself so as to conquer his fear; I, on the other hand, just keep two feet on the ground whenever possible.

Apparently our grandkids haven’t inherited this fear. Both Kaiya and Mylee have been boinged up into the air on one of those bungee jumper thingees. They seemed completely nonplussed as they bounced high into the air. I can assure you that I would have been PLUSSED. (Oh, I know that’s not a word, but it SHOULD be.)

Yesterday the remainder of our grandkids proved to us that they could be high climbers as well. Joseph and Micah (and their mothers) are visiting from Vermont and the McLain kids are on fall break. Though they are pretty good at staying entertained, it was clear that some energy needed to be expended, and it was determined that a trip to Rock’n and Jam’n to rock climb was the solution.

Rock’n and Jam’n is a business dedicated to indoor rock climbing for every age group. Alastair, Dagny, and Maggie Faith had been there before, but it was a first for the other kids. Climbing shoes are not necessary, but not everyone wore glittery shoes to climb as did Magnolia….

maggie glitter shoes climbing

Addie takes her turn (with Heather in the background)….

Alastair is very serious about it all….

Dagny is fearless and LOVES to climb…..

Glittery shoes don’t hold Magnolia back a bit….

Joseph was initially apprehensive, but he gave it a try and had some fun…..

Micah was too little to climb, but he wasn’t too little to try on the harness….

Micah rock n jam

Even the grown ups gave it a whirl. Allen and Jll give it a go….

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I didn’t envy them, but they sure looked like they had a good time.

Make Mine an Enchilada

There is a taco shop just over a mile from our Arizona house. We often walk there for breakfast if the weather is not too hot. We order the same thing every single time – a sausage breakfast burrito. They’re HUGE and delicious – a nice combination.

One morning we were sitting at a table waiting for our burrito when I noticed the woman behind the counter bring out a large pot filled well over the rim with jalapenos. The pot was enormous – the size of my canning pot. I took a picture….

cooking jalapenos (2)

 

As we watched, I saw her begin pouring seasonings over the peppers – salt, garlic salt, onion salt, and so forth – and she lit the fire on the stove under the pot of peppers so they could begin cooking.

We began speculating about how those peppers would be used. Green chili, Bill wondered. Nope, I said. You wouldn’t make green chili using just jalapenos. I studied their menu to see if anything jumped out at me. It didn’t.

Finally, I could take it no longer. Despite somewhat of a language barrier, I asked the woman behind the counter just how the peppers would be used. She pointed at the green hot sauce sitting at our table….

Los Favs hot sauces

Ah ha, I thought. That’s part of the reason we like their burritos so much. The hot sauces are delicious. A red sauce and a green sauce, both served in squirt bottles unless you take your burritos home, in which case they give you the sauces in a little plastic container. It never occurred to me that the sauces were made from scratch.

Los Favs burrito

One thing that we learned early on is that, while there is, of course, much Mexican food offered in the Phoenix area, the food offered in Arizona is quite different from the Mexican food served in Denver.

The first thing we noticed is that while you can get a burrito, the burritos are not routinely smothered as they are in Colorado. You might find green or red chili inside your burrito, but if you want it smothered, you need to make that clear by saying you want it enchilada style.

The second thing I noticed is that there are what I call taco shops all over the place. Our favorite – the one near our house about which I spoke – is called Los Favoritos. The majority of their food is taken to go – burritos wrapped up and eaten on the run. There are only four or five tables and we are almost always the only ones eating on premise. There are a number of taco shop chains such as one called Filiberto’s. I’ve never eaten there, but I’m told the food isn’t bad. Apparently it is not uncommon for taco shops to have names ending in –berto’s. Don’t ask me. I didn’t make up the rule.

Finally, while there are many taco shops, there are not a lot of Mexican sit down restaurants that aren’t national chains. They exist, but not like in Colorado, where you could probably drive a few miles in any direction from wherever you are and find a yummy Mexican restaurant where you can also get yourself a beer or a margarita.

I was contemplating this recently because I was determined to make a recipe I found on Facebook for New Mexican-styled enchiladas. In New Mexico, they apparently serve their enchiladas flat rather than rolled. The Facebook friend who posted the recipe challenged me to make the recipe she posted, and so GAME ON.

nm red chile enchiladas

New Mexico Red Chile Beef Enchiladas, courtesy iamnm.com

Ingredients
12-14 dried New Mexico red chiles
1 T. sea salt
3 cloves garlic
2 c. finely chopped yellow onion
8 c. chopped or shredded lettuce
2-3 c. chopped tomatoes
2 lbs. ground beef
Garlic salt to taste
Cooking oil (for frying)
24 six-inch corn tortillas

Process
Prepare the chile sauce: Remove stems and seeds from dried chiles. Rinse chile skins, then combine them in a sauce pan with enough water to cover them. Bring to a boil, then turn off heat and let chiles soak 15 minutes (you can place a plate over the chiles to keep them submerged. Drain. Combine chiles, salt, garlic, and 4 c. water in a blender or food processor. Blend until mixture is a smooth puree. Place puree in a 9-in pan; bring to a boil over medium heat, then lower heat and simmer 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

While chile sauce is simmering, prepare the enchilada fillings and garnishes: onions, cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes as described. Set aside in separate bowls.

Heat a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add the ground beef and brown it, stirring occasionally and crumbling it. Drain off excess fat. Add garlic salt to taste. Keep meat warm.

Prepare enchiladas: Add cooking oil to a depth of about an inch to a medium-sized cast iron (or other) skillet. Heat over medium flame until it’s hot enough to make a tortilla bubble around the edges as soon as it is added to the oil. (Be careful not to overheat it; oil that is smoking is too hot.)

To make each serving: Use tongs to dip a tortilla into the hot oil; as it starts to bubble, turn the tortilla over. The goal is to make the tortillas soft. If they become stiff, it means you left them in the oil a little too long. Save and use for tostadas or tortilla chips. Drain the tortilla briefly on paper towels; use another pair of tongs to dip the tortilla into the pan of warm chile sauce and coat it completely. (Using two sets of tongs prevents chile sauce from being dripped into the hot oil.) Place it in the center of a dinner plate. Spread about 2 tablespoons of ground beef evenly across the tortilla. Sprinkle on chopped onion and shredded cheese. Repeat this process for one or two more layers, as desired. Portion about 1 c. chopped lettuce and about ¼ c. chopped tomatoes around the enchilada stack. Serve immediately.

Nana’s Notes: I cut the recipe in half, which was enough for Bill and I each to have two open-faced enchiladas with more ground beef than the recipe recommends. Next time I would do more than dip the tortillas in the sauce; I would pour some of the sauce on the tortillas. Also, it would taste so good if the tortillas were crispy. I know, I know. Then they are no longer enchiladas but are instead tostadas. To-ma-to, to-mah-to! Finally, sorry New Mexico, but while these were absolutely delicious, at the end of the day I prefer my enchiladas rolled.

This post linked to the GRAND Social 

Saturday Smile: Grand Homecoming

Bill and I are happy when we’re in Arizona. We love our little house. It’s wonderful to be with our Arizona family. The weather is almost always amazing. Superstition Mountain is as beautiful as can be.

But Arizona doesn’t have our grandkids. And we have been blessed with a number of visits from kids and grandkids since we arrived home, and are looking forward to more because Heather and Lauren and Joseph and Micah are on their way even as you read this blog post. They will be spending the week of Thanksgiving with all of us here.

We were greeted shortly after we arrived home on Wednesday with a quick visit from Alastair, Dagny, Maggie Faith, and Jll. The highlight of that visit was when Alastair went out into our back yard which is covered with snow to test how solid the ice was in our little pond – WITHOUT ANY SHOES OR SOCKS ON HIS FEET. The thing is, he didn’t even seem to notice.

Thursday Court, Alyx, Kaiya, Mylee, and Cole came for dinner. Perhaps the highlight of that visit was watching Cole dance. And he doesn’t even need music. He just moves his little feet and dances like he’s on American Bandstand when the activity is suggested to him. See, he’s not really such a nerd…..

Cole Clark Kent 2015

Yesterday, we had another visit from Alastair and Dagny while their mom and Maggie Faith went to watch Addie play volleyball (whose team unfortunately lost the championship game). It was very cold and both of them were happy to be greeted with hot chocolate, Oreos, and uninterrupted cartoons as they arrived from school….

Dagny Alastair hot chocolate

And Papa was happy to have help from Alastair bringing the Christmas tree up from its basement home….

Alastair christmas tree 2015

Grandkids are a wonderful thing.

Have a wonderful weekend.

 

 

Friday Book Whimsy: Why Not Me?

searchI will tell you the truth right up front. I love Mindy Kaling. I am not her demographic. I am way older than what I would believe is her typical fan. But The Office, for which she wrote many episodes and appeared as Kelly Kapoor, made me laugh (until Steve Carrell left at which time it didn’t make me laugh any more). And I found her own show, The Mindy Project, to be quite quirky and funny in a just-short-of-offensive way. Admittedly, I don’t find it funny enough to pay money to watch it now on Hulu, which picked it up after it was cancelled by Fox.

Her first memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, was humorous and provided the reader with a good sense of what it’s like to break into television, especially for a minority. Why Not Me? continues her personal story via short and very amusing essays.

The book – and Ms. Kaling – wouldn’t be for everyone. She doesn’t hold back from saying what she thinks. In fact, if you watched The Mindy Project, it appears you will have a pretty good idea of who Kaling is (though one of the essays in the book is about ways in which she is different from the character she plays on The Mindy Project – i.e. TV Mindy would sue a Boston Market for giving too-small helpings of sides, and TV Mindy would own a gun and keep misplacing it). Still, the irreverence seems to be the same.

While not particularly a fan of nonfiction, I am – oddly, perhaps – a fan of biographies and memoirs. Caveat, I simply loathe the self-indulgent oh-poor-me-I-grew-up-in-a-dysfunctional-family memoirs seemingly written by anyone who knows how to use a keyboard. I enjoy memoirs in which the writer doesn’t take himself or herself too seriously and can make me laugh, or has a truly interesting story to tell. Why Not Me? meets both criteria.

The book reads very quickly and I finished it in one day. It was a nice break from the serious books I had been reading as of late.

If memoirs are your cup of tea, give Why Not Me? a try.

Here is a link to the book.

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Airplane 2015

Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Surely you can’t be serious.
I am serious and don’t call me Shirley. – from Airplane

Airplane_screenshot_Haggerty_NielsenEveryone who has flown more than a couple of times has a horror story about flying. I’m not talking about lost luggage or a seatmate who needs a shower or a child kicking the back of your seat relentlessly for three-and-a-half hours. I’m talking about one of those experiences where you’re pretty darn sure you’re going to die midair.

Here’s an example: On September 11, 2002, Court was flying out of an airport in NYC. The plane had only been in the air a few minutes when suddenly the cabin began filling up with smoke. As you can imagine, he (and likely everyone else) FREAKED OUT. It turned out to be some sort of kitchen problem. (Flight Attendants, please remove the aluminum foil from your breakfast burrito before you put it in the microwave. Thank you for your attention to this matter.) Unfortunately passengers weren’t made aware of this fact until the plane had turned around and was heading back to the airport. Since it was the anniversary of 9/11, you can imagine what they were all thinking. Yikes.

The flight between Phoenix and Denver, while only an hour-and-a-half long, is notoriously bumpy. Either the plane encounters the 115 degree air of Phoenix or the windy conditions of Denver International Airport or the warm air meeting the cold air over the Rocky Mountains. Somewhere, somehow, the plane bounces.

Jen and I have made that flight together many times, and there have been many instances where we have held each other’s sweaty hands as the plane bounced around. One flight in particular bumped without stopping for nearly the entire flight. There was more puking than fraternity pledges at the first party of the semester. Not Jen and I, though. We were too busy saying Hail Marys.

Bill and I flew from Phoenix back to Denver yesterday on a Southwest Airline flight. It wasn’t a good sign when, even before taking off, the pilot began warning us that we were going to encounter turbulence near Denver due to extremely high winds. Awesome.

It also wasn’t a good sign when the flight attendants began collecting trash nearly an hour before we were supposed to land, explaining to us that the pilots made them do it.

And as expected, suddenly, as we neared Denver, the plane was hit by what I presume was a gust of wind that knocked it to hell and back. At that moment, while everyone else was shouting in terror and reaching desperately for their loved ones, I grabbed my guitar and began singing Bridge Over Troubled Water in an effort to calm everyone down.

When you’re weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all.

Yeah, well, of course that’s not what really happened. What actually happened is that I grabbed hold of Bill with enough force to send pain shooting down his legs and began to cry. I couldn’t help it. One by one, my grandkids’ faces flashed before my eyes. I was 78 percent sure I wasn’t ever going to see them again. Addie, Alastair, Dagny, Magnolia…..

Bill, who is a trained pilot (who thankfully no longer flies small airplanes) patiently explained to me what was happening. It had something to do, he said, with the snow on the ground and then patches where there was no snow and so warm air met cold air and ….. Kaiya, Mylee, Cole…..

“We’re not going to come around and check to see if your tray tables are back in place and your seats are fully upright,” said the flight attendants as they clung to their seats. “We’re on the honor system today.” Joseph, Micah…..

Well, I posted this entry on my blog, so you have surmised that we survived the plane ride. As we taxied towards our gate, I asked Bill if he had been nervous.

“Naw,” he said. “Not at all.”

“Really?” I asked him. “Not even a little bit?”

He finally admitted that he had been a little bit nervous.

I’m pretty sure the only thing that kept him from panic equaling mine was that he was more concerned with the fact that he had no blood flowing from his left extremities.

Words of Wisdom

I came across this list of advice to remember on Pinterest, so unfortunately I am unable to give credit. It was pinned from a website called lolsnaps.com. These words of wisdom originate from someone’s high school yearbook, so many are directly apropos to high school kids. Still, I think ALL of them are important to remember as we go through life. I’m guessing the list was constructed by a teacher or a bunch of teachers, and are in no particular order. I absolutely LOVE this list and I think all of you will agree…..

  1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
  2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
  3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
  4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
  5. Always use “we” when referring to your home team or your government.
  6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
  7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.
  8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
  9. Don’t dumb it down.
  10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
  11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
  12. Never park in front of a bar.
  13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
  14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
  15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
  16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
  17. Never lie to your doctor.
  18. All guns are loaded.
  19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
  20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
  21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
  22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
  23. A handshake beats an autograph.
  24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
  25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
  26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
  27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
  28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
  29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
  30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
  31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
  32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
  33. It’s never too late for an apology.
  34. Don’t pose with booze.
  35. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT.
  36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
  37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
  38. Never push someone off a dock.
  39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
  40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
  41. Don’t make a scene.
  42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
  43. Know when to ignore the camera.
  44. Never gloat.
  45. Invest in great luggage.
  46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day too.
  47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
  48. Sympathy is a crutch; never fake a limp.
  49. Give credit. Take blame.
  50. Suck it up every now and again.
  51. Never be the last one in the pool.
  52. Don’t stare.
  53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
  54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
  55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
  56. Admit it when you’re wrong.
  57. If you offer to help, don’t quit until the job is done.
  58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
  59. Thank the bus driver.
  60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
  61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
  62. Know at least one good joke.
  63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son or daughter.
  64. Know how to cook one good meal.
  65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
  66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
  67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
  68. Dance with your mother/father.
  69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
  70. Always thank the host.
  71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
  72. Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriend’s clothes.
  73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
  74. Be a good listener. Don’t just take your turn to talk.
  75. Keep your word.
  76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately. Come grade time, it might come in handy.
  77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
  78. Be patient with airport security. They are just doing their job.
  79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
  80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
  81. You are what you do, not what you say.
  82. Learn to change a tire.
  83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
  84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
  85. Don’t litter.
  86. If you have a sister, get to know her friends. Your opinion is important.
  87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
  88. Never call someone before 9 a.m. or after 9 p.m.
  89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
  90. Make the little things count.
  91. Always wear a bra at work.
  92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
  93. You’re never too old to need your mom.
  94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet hurt.
  95. Know the words to your national anthem.
  96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
  97. Smile at strangers.
  98. Make goals.
  99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
  100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.