Mustang Sally

mustang ornament

Since the weather has been perfect for convertibles here in the East Valley of Phoenix, I have noticed a plethora of shiny Mustangs being driven by Baby Boomers, many with convertible tops. Some brand new. Some older models stunningly refurbished.  All beautiful.

I noticed them because they are Mustangs. Seeing these cars sent my thoughts soaring back to the 1970s.

Between my freshman and sophomore year at the University of Nebraska, my folks sold the bakery in Columbus and moved lock, stock, and barrel to the mountains of Colorado. I elected to stay in Nebraska and continue attending the University.

But with Mom and Dad being far, far away, it was time to purchase my first car. I had a bit of money from an insurance policy my dad had purchased when I was born that matured when I turned 18. Now, at 19, I just needed to figure out just how one went about buying a car.

The answer, it turned out, was simple. My Uncle Dale.

Dale was married to my dad’s sister Venie. He and my dad had been buddies since high school. Dale was kind, funny, and knew a little about a lot.

And he apparently knew more than a little about cars. So it was to my Uncle Dale that my dad turned to request help on his second-born’s purchase of her first car. As I was thinking about my first car purchase, I asked my brother why he thought Dad asked for Dale’s help in this matter.

“Because Dale was always finding good deals on cars,” my brother said. “Remember, he always had a different car, something he got for a smokin’ deal.”

I have little recollection of shopping for this car. I frankly suspect I wasn’t involved at all. Dale found a great deal on a used car lot — Ernst Motors — owned by a friend of his. At any rate, I ended up with a bright red 1969 Ford Mustang, red with a white hardtop. Automatic on the floor. No recollection of the number of miles on the car. I didn’t care that it was a sports car. I didn’t care that it was red. I simply loved my first car.

This is not a photo of my actual car; it is, however, a 1969 Mustang with a black hardtop. My wheels weren't this fancy. Or so I'm told.

This is not a photo of my actual car; it is, however, a 1969 Mustang with a black hardtop. My top was white. And my wheels weren’t this fancy. Or so I’m told.

Again, I asked my brother, “What exactly did my Mustang look like?” I literally could only remember that it was red with a white top. David told me it was just a simple Mustang, “stock” he called it, not “souped up” in any way. Probably a V-8 engine, however, because it was, after all, the early 70s. Gasoline was 54 cents a gallon. Who cared if you had to fill up the tank every couple of days?

But as used cars are wont to do, things kept going wrong with the car. Not big things. Maybe the car window wouldn’t roll up. Or maybe the headlight went out. For some reason, I got it in my head that since the car had come from Ernst Motors, it was up to them to keep fixing things on the car. At no cost to me.

They did for a bit, probably because of the friendship with my Uncle Dale. But then Mr. Ernst likely talked to my Uncle Dale because at some point Dale gently explained to me that now that the car was owned by me, REPAIRS ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY.

Oh. That’s how it works?

Anyway, time passed, and eventually my Mustang and I moved to Leadville with my family. That car took me on many, many trips to and from Denver, and it provided transportation for many, many trips back to Nebraska, often with my grandmother in the passenger seat. What a sight we must have been, a 19-year-old and her grandmother racing down I-80 in a red Mustang. Was she Mustang Sally or was I?

While I have conveniently forgotten about this, my brother says I made him the happiest boy on earth when I lent him my Mustang to take his girlfriend to the school dance in Leadville. That really was generous of me, except for the fact that my brother was apparently only 15 at the time. Whatevah.

I still had that car when I married my first husband in 1977, though it had seen many better days. Finally, it got to the point where it just stopped running. So my husband and I managed to get it started, and drove it to the car lot where we wanted to trade it in for something that, well, did actually run. We left the car running and went into the dealership to talk to a salesman. The car salesman got into the car and took it for a spin with my husband in the front seat and I in the back, both of us hoping like hell that he wouldn’t shut off the car. Or, if he did shut it off, that he wouldn’t try to start it again. Our theory was that the car was probably worth more if the engine worked. Go figure.

The car performed magnificently, and the salesman was beginning to talk about our deal as he pulled up to dealership. He put on the brakes, and as David and I held our breath, he SHUT OFF THE ENGINE.

The looks on our faces must have given him pause, because he immediately tried starting the car again. It was, of course, a no-go. The deal we had been discussing was off the table.

But he did give us a trade-in – the formerly beloved 1969 Ford Mustang for a dinged-up 1968 Toyota Corolla. Plus some cash. From us to him.

Ride Sally, ride.

Crabby Appleton

My name is Crabby Appleton
I’m rotten to the core;
I do a bad deed every day
And sometimes three or four.

tnj286-tomterrificposterBaby Boomers might remember Crabby Appleton, the villain of the Tom Terrific cartoons featured on Captain Kangaroo. In doing a bit of research for this post, I googled “Tom Terrific” and actually watched an entire cartoon entitled “Crabby Park” in which Crabby Appleton stole every tree in the world to form his own park in which happy people won’t be allowed. Seriously. You can find anything on YouTube. Just the theme song made me 7 years old again.

Whenever any of us kids were out of sorts, Mom called us Crabby Appleton. It stuck, because I use that term to this very day. I’m certain my son Court has never seen a single episode of Captain Kangaroo or Tom Terrific, and yet is very familiar with being called Crabby Appleton.

All this is to say that Saturday morning, every single person in east Mesa

Crabby Appleton

Crabby Appleton

was Crabby Appleton. Including me. The full-time residents might just have been crabby because temperatures were forecasted to reach 97 (and, indeed, did) and they saw the inevitability of the arrival of summer and the 115 degree temperatures it brings. For my part, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Bill was out early (say it with me Friends) working on the outdoor kitchen. Originally thought to only take a couple of weeks to build, it has been sort of like the construction of the pyramids. Except the Egyptians had slaves to do the work. Poor Bill has only himself. He actually came in at one point Saturday afternoon and asked me if I would like to help him with the grouting of the tile. I was wearing a $50 blouse and jewelry, so I declined. I think the heat is getting to him. He looked at me and saw a mirage that resembled Bob the Builder.

Anyhoo, once I got dressed, I set out to do some errands. That’s when I learned that everyone was crabby.

It started with the honking. I didn’t pull out quickly enough for the man behind me at a stop sign. Call me crazy, but when cars are barrelling down the road at 45 or 50 mph, I like to make sure I have time to pull out. I promise you they weren’t dots in the distance. My pulling out would have caused them to have to slam on their brakes. HONK.

Next, I’m at a stop light, the fourth car back. Let me repeat. The FOURTH CAR BACK. The light turns green, and the man behind me begins honking at me. Like I can do something about the three cars ahead of me. I was so stunned that I actually considered the notion that he simply might be trying to tell me that flames were shooting out of my trunk, because honestly, he can’t think I can move ahead because I’M FOUR CARS BACK. I look in my rear view mirror. No fire.

Then the tables turned and I became Crabby Appleton.

I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items. The entranceway is seriously about three or four feet wide as it is blocked with signs advertising Starbucks and sale items and Redbox. The woman in front of me comes to a dead stop right in the doorway so that she can wipe down her shopping cart with the disinfectant wipe. Now at the risk of offending those of you who also wipe your shopping carts with disinfectant wipes (and I know there are many), I must say this is A THING WITH ME. We all have our little foibles, but might I gently remind you (and I’m open to opposing views) that subsequent to wiping down your cart, you will be encountering about a cajillion germs throughout the store. As for me, I simply wash my hands when I get home.

Nevertheless, generally people who wipe their carts with disinfectant wipes do so quickly and cause no problems. Not this woman. She not only wiped the handles, she literally (and I promise you I am not exaggerating) wiped down the entire cart. And got another wipe and continued to clean the cart. I seriously thought she was going to bring in OSHA to do a thorough inspection. At one point she glanced back at me and I thought she would smile apologetically and move on. Nope. She just continued her cleaning. I almost asked her if she would stop by my house and do a quick run-through.

At last, I made my final stop – Cold Stone Creamery to purchase some gift cards. Let me tell you that it was such a pleasant surprise that the young woman who greeted was absolutely and totally cheerful, friendly, and agreeable. I reciprocated, and we had a congenial conversation about ice cream and carnivals.

Thereby ending my errand-running on a positive note and remarkably changing my attitude, as positive people are inclined to do.

 

Saturday Smile: Things Dogs Do….

Lots of things made me laugh this week, but this video caused Bill to ask me what in the world I was laughing at earlier this week…

And last night Bec, Bill and I went to a place in west Mesa called The Angry Crab Shack, featuring Cajun-styled seafood and other Cajun delights. Beckie and I split a pound of shrimp and a pound of crawfish, all boiled and served seasoned and sauced as hot as you want. Ours was pretty darned hot — and pretty darned good. No silverware to be seen; you eat with your fingers. I wish I had a photo of Beckie and I post-dinner. Unfortunately, my hands were so dirty I wouldn’t touch my camera.

Bill po boywent the sandwich route (now, isn’t that a surprise?) and got a crawfish po’ boy. He was happy with his choice. He drank Abita beer and Bec and I had a Pinot Grigio served in a mason jar. Gotta love it.

angry crab wine glass

It made me smile.

Seafood as it's brought to the table.

Seafood as it’s brought to the table.

Seafood as it's unveiled. Yum.

Seafood as it’s unveiled. Yum.

Again, a Lenten sacrifice!

Have a great weekend.

Guest Post: Pizza Day

I think I have indicated in the past that my brother David wholeheartedly believes that I am making a grave error by having Friday be a day that I review a book. Instead, he insists Friday is Pizza Day and I should therefore be reviewing pizza restaurants instead of books on Fridays. In fact, I have made it perfectly clear that I — a pizza lover married to a pizza lover — have nothing against pizza or Pizza Day. I often eat pizza on Fridays. I just enjoy my book reviews.

Not to be dissuaded, he called in reserves — his middle daughter — my niece and namesake — Jessika Kristine. You would think being named after me would make her a bit more understanding, but apparently love for pizza knows no bounds. 

Therefore, I acquiesced and am giving her her day in court, so to speak. Food Court, at any rate.

Jessie is an environmental engineering student at the University of Northern Arizona in Flagstaff.

I must admit, she makes a compelling argument…..

Pizza Day

By Jessie Gloor

11082470_10202721282511673_515102186345354589_n

The weekend started off not unlike any other: me working on some project with some grand plans of maybe drinking too much. And then I got a call from my dad that would change the course of my life forever. Okay, maybe not my life, but certainly my weekend. And maybe not forever. Maybe just for the weekend.

“Do you think that Friday is Pizza Day?” he asked me. “Definitely,” I said. “It’s a fact. The Aquabats wrote an entire song about it.”

jessies band

…and they are totally trustworthy people.

Before I get any more in to this, you should know that this question was inspired by the fact that my aunt typically reserves her Friday blog posts for book reviews. Crazy, right? Who wants to read books when there’s so much pizza to be had in the world? My father suggested that she should, at the absolute minimum, also review a pizza place and stick that at the very end of her blog post. Is that too much to ask? A shout out to pizza? After everything pizza has done for her?

But how could I get her to throw out whatever book she was reading and replace it with a hot, glorious slice of pizza? My aunt is, after all, a well-educated pizza skeptic who would need some serious convincing.

I set out to navigate the dangerous waters that are the Bashas’ grocery store (which is where I work) to collect some hard data.

jessies scientific documentation

This was super-serious stuff, guys.

This highly organized and completely scientific tally sheet that was definitely not written on a piece of receipt paper represents the amount of frozen pizzas bought on Friday compared to Saturday.

Personally, I visualize things best when they are presented to me graphically, so here you go.

bar graph

Figure 1: Friday is definitely Pizza Day.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I wanted to mathematically prove my thesis that Friday is indeed Pizza Day. Please view my findings below.

jessies calculations

And this isn’t COMPLETELY made up, either.

If you’d like, you can take a moment to imagine a montage of me spending hours after hours on the math, frustrated, falling asleep at my desk, and a concerned friend trying to get me to eat something, probably pizza. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

As my final thought, I would like to offer a one-paragraph review of my favorite pizza place as a template for my aunt (who is surely persuaded by now). Ahem. Deep breath, here it goes:

My favorite day to ride my bike to school is Friday. It’s my favorite day because I allow myself the detour that takes me in front of Fratelli’s Pizza. The smell is in the air. Oh yes, they are firing up the stone-deck oven. I’ll see you later, Fratelli’s pizza, I say with a thumbs up. Thankfully, the only class I have on Fridays is fluid mechanics, and we always, ALWAYS have a quiz. I spend hours studying extra hard for these quizzes so I can finish and get out of Dodge with enough time to make it back to the pizza place right when it opens for lunch. Fratelli Fridays, that’s what my climbing partner and I call our weekly gatherings here. Fratelli’s has a “slice of the week” each week. Past weeks include “The Dude” which is ranch, chicken, bacon, and kettle chips, or “The Elmo”, tomato, zucchini, garlic, and feta cheese. My personal favorite is The Flagstaff, under which the description reads: “the hippies keep ordering this, so we put it on the menu!” Basil pesto, sun dried tomato, mozzarella, artichoke heart, ricotta, and garlic.” I’m going to go ahead and leave it at that. I could go on about the atmosphere of the place, the friendliness and good-humor of the staff, and maybe throw in a slightly irritated comment about how the food never seems to come out fast enough. But then I would follow it with the observation that good food rarely does. I’d rather leave the audience with the thought of a hot slice of The Flagstaff. Leave em’ with their stomachs rumbling and their mouths watering, that’s what I always say.

At the Zoo

Something tells me it’s all happening at the zoo.

I do believe it, I do believe it’s true.

The monkeys stand for honesty.

Giraffes are insincere.

The elephants are kindly but they’re dumb.

Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages

And the zookeeper is very fond of rum.

Zebras are reactionaries,

Antelopes are missionaries.

Pigeons plot in secrecy

And hamsters turn on frequently.

What gas you got to come and see

At the zoo. – Paul Simon

Visiting the zoo L-R, Maggie's friend Allison, the child she babysits Cole, Maggie, and Lilly

Visiting the zoo L-R, Maggie’s friend Allison, the child she babysits Cole, Maggie, and Lilly

The town in which I grew up had no zoo. Arguably when things got crazy at the bakery it seemed like a zoo, but for all intents and purposes, no zoo in Columbus, Nebraska.

Omaha, on the other hand, had a zoo. It still does. In fact, I think Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo is quite respected by people who know things about zoos. For my part, I can’t tell you a thing about it because, despite the fact that I was born in Nebraska, in a town only about 65 miles or so from the Henry Doorly Zoo, I never once went to that zoo.

Why? Because 65 miles might as well have been 500 miles. It was as likely that we would jump in the car and go to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha as it was that we would drive to Chicago to the Lincoln Park Zoo. For various reasons, in those days, 65 miles was a commitment. And one we didn’t often make.

We went to Omaha twice a year – to go back-to-school shopping in the days before we wore school uniforms and at Christmas to see the decorations at the shopping mall.

Nowadays, it isn’t unusual for me to drive 100 miles or more in a single day. Particularly here in the Phoenix metro area which is spread out and things are far away from each other. But even back in Colorado, if I make a trip to the Denver Zoo, by time I pick up my grandkids, drive to the zoo, spend a few hours, drive them back home, and drive myself home, it is an easy 70 or 75 miles. And I do it often. Without blinking an eye.

Here’s the thing. Mom loved zoos. Or at least she loved the Denver Zoo after they moved to Colorado. We spent many a weekend afternoon at the Denver Zoo. Mom would pack up one of her famous picnics and Jen and her kids and Court and I would meet them at the zoo. If Bec and/or Dave and their families were in town, that was even better. We loved a day at the zoo.

Years ago when Bill and I were first married, we had memberships at the Museum of Natural History, the Art Museum, the Botanical Gardens, and Colorado Historical Museum, and of course the Denver Zoo. Eventually as the kids grew up and moved away, we dropped our memberships. Except

Austin is getting ready to take the plunge into the water

Austin is getting ready to take the plunge into the water

for the zoo.

Because like Mom, I love the zoo. Which is why I have a membership at both the Denver Zoo and the Phoenix Zoo. And I get my money’s worth out of both.

Yesterday Maggie and her kids invited me to join them and a friend of hers for an early-morning visit to the Phoenix Zoo. We were there by 9 o’clock, and walked around when it was still fairly quiet and cool. The

Phoenix Zoo has a little water park – one of those venues where water squirts up out of the ground. Quite frankly, that’s where we spent a lot of our time, because Austin has never met a stranger, so he played and played with the new friends he met at the water park.

“What is your friend’s name?” I asked him afterwards. He, of course, had no clue. They didn’t exchange names because it was unnecessary. They couldn’t have had more fun if they had known each other’s names. That’s the way of the world when you’re 4.

Soaking wet and self-proclaimed FREEZING COLD despite the fact that it was in the 80s!

Soaking wet and self-proclaimed FREEZING COLD despite the fact that it was in the 80s!

So, like Paul Simon, I think it’s all happening at the zoo; I do believe it, I do believe it’s true.

Let’s All Go to the Snack Bar

cotcind052I read a recent article in the Denver Post about a brand new state-of-the-art drive-in movie theater that will be opening up in the Denver metro area soon. It is supposed to be up and running by Memorial Day.

That news made me both happy and sad. Happy, because I LOVE drive-in theaters. I have absolutely splendid and numerous memories of adventures at drive-in theaters (and none of them are x-rated Mr. and Mrs. Mind-in-the-Gutter).  Sad, because I simply don’t think the words drive-in theater and state-of-the-art should be in the same sentence. What is a drive-in movie without the crackling speaker hanging off your 88 drive inwindow? I’m guessing state-of-the-art doesn’t include crackling speakers.

Ah, drive-ins, where you could always see two movies for the price of one and eat stale popcorn and lukewarm hot dogs and call it entertainment. As a kid, it was very exciting because you got to stay up late since the movie generally didn’t even start until after 9. I’m pretty darn sure I never made it through an entire movie as a kid without falling asleep. But I usually woke up when I heard the dancing popcorn boxes and singing hot dogs cleverly encouraging us….Let’s all go to the snack bar, let’s all go to the snack bar, let’s all go to the snack bar, to get ourselves some treats.

As a teenager, it was particularly cheap entertainment because a group of six or seven of us would go to the movies together. The two or three smallest people got into the trunk (remember we were driving our parents’ 1970 Buick Le Sabres with trunks big enough to hold an entire African village), and we split the cost of the rest. As I was one of the smallest of my group of friends, I don’t think I ever saw the entrance of the theater as I was always stuffed in the trunk.

I’m sure the theater owner (Dad called him Burnsie) never suspected a thing.

I am compelled at this point to tell you a story about my father and Burnsie.

Burnsie owned the regular movie theater as well as the drive-in theater. The movie theater was across the street from Gloor’s Bakery, above which my father lived with his family. As a youngster, my father says he and his buddy would sneak into the theater by walking backwards in the crowd that was leaving the earlier movie.

Again, I’m sure Burnsie never suspected a thing.

Anyhoo, from the time my son Court was young until such time as he wouldn’t be caught dead alone with his mother, he and I would go to the Cinderella Twin Drive-in Theater in Denver at least once each summer. I would pop enough popcorn to fill a brown paper bag and load up a cooler with pop. Again, we saw two movies for the price of one – one of the best things about drive-in movies. A trip to the snack bar between movies satisfied our candy needs. It was late when we would drive home. Usually about 1 o’clock in the morning or later.

I remember once when he was in elementary school, we were driving down the dark street towards home. There was the occasional lit-up house since it was probably a Saturday night (or really, early Sunday morning). We were both quiet as it was late and we were tired.

“You know what I like to do Mom?” I remember him saying suddenly. “I like to look at the windows that are all lit up and try to imagine what the people inside are doing. Why are they up so late? Are they a mom and dad with kids? Are they having a party? Or are they up with one of the kids? I like to make up stories in my head about them.”

Boom.

I was suddenly reminded that my DNA ran through my boy. Just like his mom, that boy was born to write.

And he’s a writer to this day. Much better than his mom.

I will undoubtedly be visiting the new drive-in theater this summer, probably with a handful of my grandkids, making new memories. But I will still be sneaking in popcorn and sodas.

Bill said the sound will probably come through the car’s FM radio. I will miss those crackling speakers.

Lilies of the Field

Every year about this time, I start itchin’ to plant something. Anything. Flowers. Vegetables. Trees. It’s good that I now greet Spring while in Arizona. I’ve wasted a lot of money planting hundreds of dollars’ worth of plants in Colorado because we have a week of 60s and 70s, only to have my garden thwarted by a spring freeze. I can’t seem to help myself.

I’ve lived in Colorado long enough to know you DON’T PLANT FLOWERS BEFORE MOTHERS’ DAY, STUPID.

The funny thing about my desire to get my hands into the soil is that, much as it pains me to say this, I simply don’t like to garden. I only like to look at and eat the results of gardening.

Clearly Jesus loved gardening, as many of his parables talk about planting seeds. In yesterday’s Gospel reading from St. John, Jesus reminded us that our faith is like a kernel of wheat that must die before it can grow. In other sermons, Jesus talks about tiny mustard seeds that grow into large plants when nurtured, and suggests we should have faith in God like the lilies of the field.

And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. –Matthew 6: 28-29

Beautiful parables based on gardening.

Though I’m glad to greet Spring in the desert, I don’t want to start a lot of plants here in Arizona, however, because it won’t be too long before we are packing up and heading back to Denver. However, I certainly enjoy my potted flowers and my herb plants…..

herb plants

 

petunias hanging plants

And there are such beautiful desert plants that burst in bloom about this time of year…..

cactus plant

 

bougainvilla

And in an entirely unrelated note, because, try as I might, I can’t figure out how to tie these two topics together and so you must WORK WITH ME PEOPLE, Bill and I spent the afternoon with other branches of our family tree (Yay! I did find a gardening connection!), specifically my sister Bec and my cousin and her husband Marilyn and Roger, who are visiting from Columbus.

I’m thrilled to tell you that thanks to her faithful readership of my blog, Marilyn wanted to eat the sandwich I described with such delight in this post. It was as good as I described, I’m happy to report. But the best part was connecting up with my much loved family, always a gift from God….

Bec, Bill, Kris, Marilyn, and Roger enjoying Guidos.

Bec, Bill, Kris, Marilyn, and Roger enjoying Guidos.

Saturday Smile: Fifty Shades of Poodle Puff

I fear this is going to be one of those “you had to be there” stories, but I’m going to tell it anyway because it made me laugh out loud.

The other day I was driving to lunch on one of the East Valley’s very busy east-west corridors, Warner. I glance over at the sidewalk that lines the street, and here’s what I see: a young twenty-something woman wearing exercise clothes and pushing a baby stroller.

Not that unusual, right?

Except that accompanying this particular woman were three standard-sized poodles, white, all clipped in that weird show-ring way with the odd puffs of balls on the sides of their bodies and the poufs of fur on their heads, tails, and feet.

Like this….

69

That was an astounding sight in and of itself, but suddenly I noticed that the baby carriage didn’t hold the expected toddler. Instead, the stroller was full of four or five little wiggling balls of white fur — poodle puppies.

poodle pups

My guess is two out of the three adult poodles are the parents of the wiggling puppies. The other poodle wasn’t quite as lucky and could only watch.

Poodle porn.

For good measure, here are a couple of photos that tickled me this week….

What's a kid supposed to do when they're in Florida besides hold an alligator? My great niece and nephew Mackenzie and Carter display the reptiles.

What’s a kid supposed to do when they’re in Florida besides hold an alligator? My great niece and nephew Mackenzie and Carter display the reptiles.

10-1/2 month old Cole looks like he's ready to go to a Broncos' game.

10-1/2 month old Cole looks like he’s ready to go to a Broncos’ game.

Have a great weekend.

 

Mora Na Maidine Dhuit

Despite my last name (which I married), I don’t have a Celtic bone in my body. They say everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, but I’m not. Nope. I’m still half Swiss and half Polish. I don’t even wear green despite the danger of being pinched. Kelly green is not in my color wheel.

I don’t mean to sound as if I’m opposed to the Irish. Some of my best friends are of Irish heritage. If I liked beer at all I wouldn’t mind if it was dyed green. I think St. Patrick was one heck of a good saint – one of the best, in fact. I spent 13 years as a “Shamrock” since this was the mascot of St. Bonaventure Elementary School, and Scotus Junior High and High School (though I’ve never known why since St. Bonaventure was Italian and Duns Scotus was Scottish).

But I really do think St. Patrick’s Day is as good an excuse as any to have corned beef and cabbage.

The past couple of years, my sister Bec (who also is not Irish) has had us over for corned beef. This year, however, she is away for the week, watching her beloved Washington Nationals play spring ball in Florida. Go Nats. They’re also not Irish.

So I’m on my own for corned beef and cabbage, which admittedly is not rocket science to prepare. In fact, I recently learned that it isn’t even particularly Irish. According to Wikipedia (which, as you know, is NEVER wrong), they rarely even ate beef in Ireland, preferring pork. It wasn’t until the Irish started immigrating to the United States and found the cost of pork prohibitive that they started eating beef.

Bottom line: corned beef and cabbage is about as Irish as spaghetti and meatballs is Italian.

Now you think I’m going to offer a recipe for corned beef and cabbage, but you’re wrong. Just stick your corned beef in the crock pot with some water, the spices, and some carrots, and enjoy your meal eight hours later with a side of braised cabbage.

Nope, I’m going to do you one better. I’m going to offer you a recipe for homemade Bailey’s Irish Cream.

You can thank me later.

ingredients baileys

baileys bottled

Take it up a notch and make some ice cubes out of coffee. Serve your Irish cream over the coffee cubes. Thank you Pinterest.

baileys poured

 

Now, what do I do with a fifth of Jamison minus 1-2/3 cup? Oh, I know; make some more Irish Cream!

And as they would toast in Ireland….May you live to be a hundred years, with one extra year to repent.

Baileys

When the Cat’s Away…Well, Not Much

myersbriggs2Many years ago when I was still employed and got paid to write, the company for which I worked administered the Myers-Briggs personality test to its employees. The company was big on personality and motivational testing. For a bit of time, they actually printed the Myers-Briggs personality type next to the employees’ names on the internal phone list. Knowing the personality score of the person you were calling was supposed to enhance communication. Failed experiment.

I don’t remember what the test indicated my personality was (ESPN? IPAD? ETSY?), but I remember it was the one where the person requires being around other people in order to be energized and motivated.

I knew immediately that was incorrect because being around a lot of people absolutely WEARS ME OUT. I want to go behind a tree and hide. I like people, but then I just need some quiet time to unwind. I quickly figured out that the reason my score was so skewed was that I had answered the questions the way I wanted my personality to be instead of the way it actually was. I lied to both Myers and Briggs.

All of this is to say that when Bill left early yesterday morning to spend the day watching NASCAR with my brother, I danced a little jig as soon as they were out of the driveway. Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband and enjoy spending time with him. It’s just that when we are in Arizona, due to the small size of our house and the fact that we only have one car, we spend probably 90 percent of our time within sight of one another.

I had the entire day ahead of me to do WHATEVER I WANTED. Heaven.

Here’s how my day went….

I decided to start with a walk. Bill and I exercise regularly, but since he’s taken to working on the outdoor kitchen he’s building from the twitter of the first mockingbird at dawn until I drag him in for dinner, exercise has been put on the back burner temporarily. In fact, Saturday morning he was eyeing the electric drill and the power saw hungrily at 7 o’clock in the morning. I knew if he started power tools at the crack of dawn on a Saturday, our neighbor (who you might remember is often naked or nearly naked; if you don’t remember, read this…) might come storming over, and we definitely didn’t want that. I took him out to breakfast instead.

Anyhoo, yesterday, I set off on a two-mile trek.

Almost immediately, a man about my age came out of his driveway and started walking as well. I figured I would lose him when I turned west towards Superstition Mountain, but nope, he went the same direction, just a bit ahead of me.

As we walked, it became apparent that I was walking about a millionth of a second faster than he. What to do, what to do? I knew I would eventually overtake him, but oh so slowly. Should I just let it happen naturally, which would likely result in him being creeped out as I slowly inch toward him? Or should I bolt ahead of him at an unnatural and uncomfortable pace? I elected a version of the latter.

I raised my arms and began swinging them like a runner, up near my heart. I pretended to be a power walker – walk, walk, swing, swing – until I surpassed him. I kept up the charade for about 10 minutes until I was safely passed him, and then slowed down to a comfortable pace. Crisis averted.

Food choice also dominated my lovely quiet day. Now, understand, Bill never complains about what I cook, and he almost always goes along with where I want to eat, despite the fact that I groan every time he chooses the dining place – always pizza. But yesterday I salmoncould eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted as much as I wanted.

Sushi for lunch, grilled salmon for dinner. See what I mean? No meat on Friday is no sacrifice for me.

I’ve mentioned before that I heartily dislike housekeeping, and put it off as long as I can. In fact, it would be safe to say that Bill does much, if not most, of the housecleaning. But yesterday, on that day by myself, I spent an hour-and-a-half cleaning house. I turned on my ipod, set it to shuffle my country songs, and played it loud and sang along while I cleaned. Dusted, scrubbed floors, changed bedsheets, did three loads of wash, sang along with Scotty McCreery and Taylor Swift (back in the olden days when she was country).

And then there were the movies. While I persuade Bill to go to places of my choosing to eat, I don’t even try to talk him into watching chick movies. So I watched three movies yesterday afternoon that he wouldn’t want to see – Mystic Pizza (have I mentioned I love Julia Roberts?), Stand By Me, and The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, which I plumb forgot is probably my favorite movies of all time.

All in all, a totally pleasant and quiet day.