What Shall We Call It?

Carol canned peachesJust before this past Christmas, my friend Carol gave me two glorious quarts of peaches as a gift, peaches she had, in fact, put up herself. I’ve undertaken that same activity many times, and I know that it is a messy job, but well worth it when you can eat Palisade (Colorado) peaches in the middle of winter. As it happens, I hadn’t canned this past year, except for a batch of dill pickles in which I forgot to put in the dill. Sigh. So I was happy to get them.

Unfortunately, we were leaving very shortly for our winter in Arizona. We had left our car in AZ when we had opened up the house in late October, and so we were flying. Since we couldn’t bring them with us on the airplane, they sat on my counter – looking beautiful – until yesterday afternoon, when this happened…..

peach pie graham

My phone rang early yesterday afternoon, and one of our granddaughters was calling to see if she could come over. I say one of our granddaughters because the truth is, I can’t tell any of them apart on the telephone. Well, at least not Maggie Faith and Dagny. I agreed, but I wasn’t sure who would walk through my door. But the bottom line was, IT DIDN’T MATTER. I was happy to see either one.

It was Maggie Faith.

magnolia on swing

Now, I learned recently that both Maggie and Dagny like to get creative in the kitchen. They like to prepare food using recipes they make up as they go along. For example, the other day, Dagny squeezed a lime, added some sugar, some oreos, and some M&Ms, and called it Lime Sherbert. Don’t ask.

As an aside, when she asked for some sugar, I brought out my sugar canister – nothing special; something I’ve had for years. “Oh, Nana, that’s beautiful,” she said. It’s not, but I’ll take a compliment any time I can get it. And when I brought out my electric citrus juicer so that she could get all of the juice out of the lime, I thought she was going to faint. “That is SO AWESOME,” she said. And I won’t even tell you what she thought about my Lazy Susan cupboard. From her reaction, you would think her mom and dad cook in a cave.

Anyhoo, yesterday, Maggie – who has been eyeing those peaches since we got back from Arizona – asked if she could make something using the peaches. I was willing, but nervous that the peaches would be used for a concoction similar to Dagny’s.

“How about a peach pie?” I asked her.

Boom.

So I went to my freezer, which could, in fact, have Jimmy Hoffa buried somewhere inside, and pulled out a frozen pie crust. I opened up the bag and told Maggie we had to let it thaw. After a competitive game of Crazy 8s (in which I was heartily defeated) I returned to my pie crust, began trying to unfold it, and it basically crumbled into pieces. I checked the pull date and gasped in horror. I am going to tell you what it was, but only because I know that Maggie is going to spill the beans on me anyway because she couldn’t stop laughing.

October 2005.

I’m telling you – Jimmy Hoffa’s body.

At any rate, we used some (probably stale) graham crackers and made a crust, and baked it with the peaches (slightly sweetened with sugar and thickened with flour), and called it a peach pie…..

magnolia making crust

During preparation, there was lots of tasting going on….

Magnolia slurping peach juice

Because the pie was entirely ad hoc, I will not include a recipe. If you would like Dagny’s recipe for lime/oreo/sugar/M&M juice, contact her directly.

By the way, at the end of the day, Maggie’s peach pie was an epic fail. The peaches were delicious; the graham crackers were so stale I suspect they were probably purchased sometime in the Nixon Administration. My goal this week is to go through my freezer and pantry and discard any food items that aren’t from this decade!

This blog is linked to Katherine’s Corner.

Miracles

In the past few weeks, I learned some difficult news about a couple of my friends. One was diagnosed with cancer; the other – a woman of my age — learned that she has early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. On both occasions I was nearly knocked off my feet. I reminded myself – once again – to never, NEVER whine and/or complain because I – on only two occasions — have had to go to the hospital and get a nasal gastric tube inserted. Life is all about perspective, my friends.

So I have, of course, added these two friends to my prayer list of people who are ill. But I can’t help but feel as though prayer seems just so insignificant sometimes. I pray for miracles, and wait for the miracles to happen. They never seem to happen, unfortunately. As far as I know, my prayers haven’t brought anyone back from the dead.

I thought of my friends yesterday as I listened to the readings. The first reading was from first Book of Kings, and talked about Elijah bringing a poor, lonely widow’s son back to life simply by asking God to do so. And then, in St. Luke’s Gospel, Jesus raised the son of a widow from the dead because her crying moved him so.

Whaaaat? Maybe the problem is that I’m not a widow. Or maybe I’m not praying hard enough, or in the right way.

Or maybe, just maybe, my prayers are being answered in unexpected ways.

Beginning immediately after Bill was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, I began praying every day that God would perform a miracle and cure him of the disease. Why not ask, I told myself. And every six months when we would go to see his neurologist, they would tell us he was doing remarkably well, but, yes, he still has Parkinson’s disease.

Finally, it occurred to me that while he wasn’t being miraculously cured of this thus-far incurable disease, he is still able to do everything he could do before. He might do it slower. He might need some help on occasion. Perhaps as time goes on, he will need more help. But God has given us a full seven years since his diagnosis to continue to live a good life. And we have grown closer, and I have learned a bit more about patience. All small miracles.

My friend who has been diagnosed with cancer posted a picture on Facebook recently of her and her husband eating breakfast al fresco at Denver Biscuit Company, one of her favorite restaurants. In the photo, her husband is looking at her and has his arm gently around her neck, and they are both smiling. It is the sweetest picture, and I cried for an hour after seeing it. In fact, as I write these words, I am crying. Perhaps the miracle isn’t that her cancer will be cured (though I hope it will be) but that the two of them will grow ever closer as she tackles her future.

I will keep praying for miracles because God can do anything. But I will try to stop sitting back and waiting for a dead man to sit up or a leper to be cured and appreciate the small miracles that happen every day.

Here are my miracles….

Family Photo

This post linked to the GRAND Social

Saturday Smile: Feel the Love

Alastair speech 5.16 (2)When we arrived at Alastair’s continuation ceremony on Thursday, we were surprised to learn that he was selected to be one of the speakers. Each teacher (and there were three) chose one of their students to reflect on their experiences at the school. No surprise to anyone that Alastair did a magnificent job.

His sisters Dagny and Maggie Faith were given permission to leave their respective classrooms and watch their brother’s ceremony. It was quite hot, and there was no shelter from the sun.

Following Alastair’s speech, and just prior to the diploma ceremony, Dagny told her mom she was going back to her classroom. “You don’t want to see your brother get his diploma?” his mother asked. “No,” she replied. “It’s too hot.”

Off she went. A few minutes later, she comes back. Her mom was happy to see her. “You decided you wanted to see him get his diploma?” she asked.

“No,” Dagny admitted. “But on my way back to the classroom, I saw there was cake in the gym for afterwards.”

What you will do for a piece of cake!

Bill Kris Alastair 6.16

Have a great weekend.

Thursday Thoughts

Downy on Ice
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We spent yesterday morning closing up the house in AZ, something that always makes me a little sad. I’m not sure exactly why, because I’m very excited to be going back to Denver for the summer and fall. There is no place nicer in the summer months. There is just something so sad about seeing our patio with no furniture and all of the blinds closed and the doors locked up. Closing up involves thinking about what won’t survive the hot house over the summer months. That’s why there are dish washing pods and Downy fabric softener in my refrigerator, right next to the ink from Bill’s printer. We turn off the air conditioner altogether, so it is likely the house gets in the neighborhood of 95 to 100 on occasion during the summer months.

Blissful?
The other day I bought a bra. I didn’t go out to look specifically for a bra, but found one that I have owned before and liked, so on a whim, I bought it. I noticed the name as I was paying for the bra – Blissful Moments by Warner. It occurred to me that I can’t ever say I have a single, solitary blissful moment any time of the day when I’m wearing any bra. They are hot; they ride up; the straps pinch my shoulders. Perhaps I’m buying the wrong bra, but I never feel blissful. The happiest time of my day is when I take off my Blissful Moment and put on my Even More Blissful Moment – my pajamas.

Batter Up
I don’t know why, but we often meet interesting people while standing in one line or another at the airport. We recently met a woman by the name of Betty, with whom we had a discussion about baseball. It turns out Betty – who is in the neighborhood of 75 or 80 years old – is a baseball fan. She was telling us that Coors Field – home of the Colorado Rockies — provides a number of  inexpensive tickets for each home game in a certain section for seniors who want to attend a home Rockies game. Betty told us a group of folks from her senior housing facility attends three or four ball games each year. They call themselves the Senior Sluggers. That made me happy.

Cheers!
I find as I am getting older, I am getting crabbier. Don’t get me wrong; I have always been crabby. I am just crabbier about stupider things. For example, I heartily dislike when people on cooking shows “cheer” bites of food. No. Stop it. You cheer drinks. You say things like Cheers, or Salut, or Chin Chin while you tink your glasses. You don’t cheer bites of pork chop or pieces of coconut cream pie. Just don’t. The other unreasonable annoyance in my life is the prevalence of hugging people you barely know, or don’t know at all. Perhaps it is my mother coming out in me. She was never a hugger. I, on the other hand, happily hug people I know and love. I don’t want to hug people I have just met. See? Crabby.

Sunrise, Sunset
I keep making allusions to it, but this morning Bill and I will attend the continuation of our grandson Alastair, who will be moving to middle school next fall. When my daughter-in-law sent me the kids’ upcoming calendar of events and I spotted that one, I nearly had a heart attack. I’m not entirely sure why. I have watched him grow up. He is tall and strong and smart and very grown up. But seeing the word continuation as it relates to Alastair just knocked me upside the head. Say it ain’t so. Next thing I know, he will be graduating from high school. And all of this means, of course, that Addie is an eighth-grader. And all of the grandkids are growing up. Argh.

Ciao.

Dry Heat

dry-heatSo yesterday, I thought about a segment of one of my favorite movies – Good Morning, Vietnam; specifically the scene in which Robin Williams takes the mic and does the segment on how hot it was in Vietnam. It goes something like this….

How hot is it out there? It’s hot, damn hot, real hot; it’s so hot in my shorts that I can cook things, you know, crotch pot cooking; like you were born on the sun.

Robin Williams, of course, goes on and on about how hot it is and lucky for you, I won’t. But I will tell you that as we leave the Valley of the Sun to head back to Colorado for the summer and fall, it was hot. Damn hot. And it hadn’t even reached 100 degrees. It was dangerously close, hovering around 99, but I don’t think it hit the 100 mark. That doesn’t happen until later this week, when, by Saturday it will be 115 degrees. Like you were born on the sun.

There have only been a few occasions when Bill and I have been here during the really, really hot period. We went to three outdoor high school graduations in late May at which we nearly melted. And my Arizona nephew and his wife married in July at what was thankfully an indoor ceremony. There was a brief scare when the bride learned following the church ceremony that the air conditioning wasn’t working at the site of their reception, but it ended up being all good. Well, except for the video at which they caught Crazy Aunt Kris blowing down the front of her dress to try and cool off. I continue my never-ending quest to try and destroy that video permanently…. But it was hot; damn hot; real hot.

So, we are getting out in the nick of time. My sister Bec, who has only been a permanent resident of Arizona for a few years, says she has finally gotten used to the fact that now that she lives in the Valley of the Sun, she looks at summer the same way she used to look at winter when she lived on the East Coast. Just as she would cover up or put away her furniture in October, here she covers up or puts away her furniture in June. And turns on Netflix and doesn’t turn it off until late October.

I asked her recently if she can sit out and have coffee in the morning on her patio, and the answer was, not really. There comes a point when the temperature at night doesn’t get below 90 degrees when it is already too hot in the morning to enjoy coffee al fresco.

That would make me sad, except I think about my family in Colorado shoveling snow in mid-January while we sit on our outside Arizona patio and have our coffee. The Garden of Eden doesn’t exist anywhere, I’m afraid.

Well, maybe in Hawaii.

We fly home tonight, so when next you hear from me, we will be back in Colorado getting our garden ready for the summer and sitting on our patio having morning coffee.

And then watching our 11-year-old grandson Alastair’s continuation ceremony from 5th grade to Middle School. Say it ain’t so.

You Say to-may-to; I Say To-mah-to

Bill sewing Bec apron

Here is a typical conversation Bill and I might have regarding my NanasWhimsiesShop on Etsy….

Bill – I sent you the photos of the aprons for your Esty shop.

Me – It’s not Esty; it’s Etsy.

Bill – Yeah, whatever. Anyway, how much are you going to charge?

Me – I’m not sure. What do you think?

Bill – I don’t know. What are other Esty shops charging?

Me – It’s not Esty; it’s Etsy.

Bill – Yeah, whatever.

And so on and so on and so on. While Bill loves to see if he can get on my last nerve, this isn’t one of those times. He simply can’t remember that it is Etsy and not Esty. Frankly, Esty would be a more sensible and more easily pronounceable name. But the fact of the matter is IT IS ETSY.

But for the love of heaven, why must I correct him? What does it matter in the whole scheme of life? It doesn’t.

All of this is to let you know that I am going to be selling aprons soon in my shop on ETSY. And when I say “I” I actually mean “Bill” because he currently is the sole creator of the aprons. Bill is a man of many talents, and sewing just happens to be one of them.

“A sewing machine is just another tool,” he says, quoting his father who once made Bill’s sister a quilt.

Broncos frontThe more he makes, the better the result. I have and wear three aprons currently, the most recent being one of his best. He has begun lining them, which makes a huge difference in the quality. The aprons that will be for sale first are heavy, made out of sturdy canvas material, good for either barbecuing or as a shop apron. Rather than requiring the wearer to tie the apron, they are adjustable via a snap closure. Amenities include a pocket for a cell phone and a pocket for a beer. What more does a man need?

Here is an example, with our son Court acting as the model….

Court Bronco apron

A Bronco apron is the obvious first choice to sell. However, Bill already sent a gift of an Alabama “Roll Tide” apron, complete with the mandatory Paul “Bear” Bryant houndstooth trim, to his brother David.

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I will begin selling the aprons on my ETSY page very soon – frankly as soon as I get the photo posted – and then begin taking special orders. But I wanted to make the offer to my blog readers first. If for no other reason than that Bill’s newest hobby will come as no surprise to those who know him.

Just remember to look for ETSY and not ESTY, no matter what he says.

Proud to be an American

My sister Jen requested that for Memorial Day, and in honor of the men and women who have given their life for our freedom, I rerun the blog post I wrote back in 2008 when Bill and I visited Normandy, France, during our European Adventure. That visit will always be one of the most profound experiences in my life, and something I will never forget.

She also asked me why in the world is the beach that was stormed on that rainy June day back in 1944 called Omaha Beach. I, of course, being the astute history scholar that I am, had no idea. So I Googled it. From what I can tell after quick research, no one knows quite for certain how the names Omaha Beach and Utah Beach were chosen. They were code words for the battles. It seems likely that they were chosen because they were easily understood over radio airwaves and easily communicated through Morse Code. Some say that the US Military had noticed that the Germans chose code words that were quite easy to figure out — Operation Sealion for an amphibious assault, for example. Both Omaha and Utah are landlocked, thereby giving no clue to a water ambush. One theory is that they were named after two carpenters — one from Omaha and one from Provo, Utah — who helped build the headquarters for the invasion planners. That seems unlikely to me, but then again, Ike didn’t really keep me posted on his thoughts. There were, in fact, five beaches involved in the June attack — Utah and Omaha (U.S), Gold and Sword (Great Britain), and Juno (Canada). Each country selected the code names for their attack.

The reality that these literally thousands of men who jumped from their boats onto the beach knowing full well that there was a likelihood that they would be killed simply takes my breath away. I am filled with love, honor, respect and gratitude for these men, and for all of the men and women who have served since, and who continue to serve today.

Happy Memorial Day. God bless America.

Here is my 2008 post from Reluctant Traveler…..

D-Day

Sunday, August 3, 2008

After spending the entire day yesterday looking at the various sites of the battles that were fought to liberate France, and eventually to win World War II, as we drove home I asked Bill how he felt. “Pretty proud to be American,” he answered. I knew exactly what he meant.

The day was kind of dreary, one of the few overcast days we’ve had during our entire adventure. It couldn’t quite make up its mind – it would drizzle, then the sun would peak out of clouds. It never quite rained. The weather suited the day, we felt. The weather was overcast too on June 6, 1944.

Traffic was awful. Everyone was on the autostrada getting away for holiday. What should have been an hour-and-a-half drive took us twice that long.

Since we only had a day, we decided to focus on the areas in which America had the impact. As such, we only saw the Canadian cemetery in the distance as we drove by, and the same was true for Sword, Juno, and Gold Beaches, where Great Britain and Canada soldiers came on shore.

Our first stop was just above the little French town of Arromanches, high on the cliffs above the Normandy beaches, where there was a 360 degree theater. The film shown on this circular screen was powerful. The film director intermixed current scenes from the little towns that line the Normandy coast with film taken on June 6, 1944, as our soldiers stormed the beach. There was no dialogue, and the only sounds you heard were the sounds heard by the soldiers as guns fired and planes flew overhead, or the sounds of a peaceful rural French life. The 1944 scenes were graphic, violent, poignant, and awe-inspiring while the current scenes were pretty and colorful and filled with joy. The contrast made a very strong point – the towns around the Normandy beaches owe their freedom from the Nazis to the United States of America and the other allies.

After viewing the film, we got back in our car to drive to the little French town of Longues-sur-Mer. Here we stopped in a small boulangerie and picked up two ham, Gruyere cheese, and tomato sandwiches smeared with good French butter, and two wonderful pastries for dessert. We then drove a few blocks towards the sea, to an area where there were four German bunkers with their guns still intact. These guns had the ability to shoot up to 13 miles. The clear shot the Germans had of the beach was absolutely bone-chilling.

We ate our lunch at one of the little picnic tables they had set up for that purpose. As we ate, we tried to figure out how the French bakers can get the baguette so perfectly crusty on the outside and so chewy and delicious on the inside. It’s a reality I will continue to ponder.

Our next stop was Omaha Beach, and the American cemetery. We walked through the museum, which gave a lot of information about the events leading up to the war, and even more interesting (at least to me), the events and discussions that went on during the days just prior to D-Day. While I could always imagine how much thought went into planning a battle such as that fought on June 6, I had never really realized that the Americans had tricked the Germans into thinking a bigger battle was going to be fought elsewhere. The Americans used false communications, fake airplanes, and other kinds of trickery that helped catch the Germans off guard and lulled them into thinking that, even as our soldiers were storming the beaches, this battle was not to be taken that seriously.

After visiting the museum, we walked down to the beach. I think of my entire day, this was what moved me the most. The beach area from where the water meets the shore to where the soldiers would have some trees or shrubs for protection was easily the length of two football fields. (And speaking of football, the next time I hear a sports announcer refer to a football player as a hero, I think I will put a rock through my television screen. Football players are not heroes. Twenty-year-old boys climbing off boats carrying hundreds of pounds on their backs, running to the shore, and then crawling on their bellies for 200 yards or more while getting shot at are heroes.)

After looking at the beach, we walked back up to the cemetery. Of course, the sight of all of these white marble crosses and stars of David is poignant beyond belief. Each marker has the name and rank of the soldier and the day he died. I always forget that the battles of Normandy went on not just for this one day, but for months. There are a number of markers that bear no name, but say only God knows who he is. Very sad.

 

We left the cemetery and drove a bit further up the coast to Pointe du Hoc Ranger Monument. We decided to stop here at the last moment, and I’m glad we did. Pointe du Hoc was an area where, early on June 6, 300 US Army Rangers climbed the cliffs of this heavily German-fortified position to secure it for the allies. They were successful, but only after losing over two-thirds of the soldiers. Out of the 300 Rangers, 95 survived. The area was heavily bombed and the huge holes where the bombs had dropped are amazing and a somber reminder of the power of those bombs.

craters

Our last stop of the day was in Ste Mere Eglise, the first town to be liberated by the American soldiers on June 7, 1944. This pretty little town is in the general area where the 101st and 82nd Airborne soldiers dropped early on June 6 to land behind enemy lines. If you saw the movie The Longest Day, you will recall that one soldier got caught on the church steeple and played dead for a number of hours while German soldiers took shots at him. As he hung helplessly, he watched the ensuing battle below. The people of this town, to this day, have American flags hanging and have a parachute with a dummy hanging on the steeple of the church in commemoration.

It had been a long and somber day, but one that made me very proud.

This post linked to the GRAND Social.

Saturday Smile: It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere

Bill and I were at the airport in Denver very early last Tuesday when we were heading back to Denver. In fact, after we went through security, it was 6:30 a.m. when we sat down to have breakfast at Jimmy’s Bistro in Concourse A. Bill went to get some cashola from the ATM and left me the job of ordering our breakfast. When the server arrived, I placed our order, and then jokingly said, “I was going to order a Bloody Mary since I’m afraid of flying, but 6:30 a.m. is a bit early, even for me.” She smiled, and told me, “I know, but the fact of the matter is if you had ordered it, I wouldn’t have been able to serve it to you until 7 o’clock. We aren’t allowed to serve alcohol until then.” She added, “The irony is that here in Colorado, you can legally buy pot any time of the day, but no alcohol before 7.” That made me laugh.

And finally, if you are the one and only person in the entire United States of America who hasn’t seen this video, enjoy…..

Have a great weekend.

Thursday Thoughts

I’ll Have a Cold One Please
I was shopping for a piece of salmon the other day and couldn’t help but notice this sign in the fish case. I wonder what they used to refresh him? An ice cold Budweiser?
Refreshed Salmon

Man v. Tree
And since we’re in AZ, as I write this blog, Bill is of course outside battling his archenemy — the acacia tree. He just keeps cutting it back. Pretty soon it’s going to be nothing but a stump, which is what I think both he and Jen want. Then we will have to deal with what to do about a stump in your front yard. Maybe put a pot with a cactus in it and fight with the homeowner’s association later.

The Real Colorado Rockies
We have had nice weather here in AZ so far, though I think it’s supposed to turn a bit warmer as the days go by. Bill and I had already been enjoying our Denver backyard, and so we are glad that we can sit outside here as well. Cole was over one day while we were in Denver, and he was having an extraordinarily good time entertaining himself. He would take rocks from the side of our yard and move them. Simply move them someplace else. He found it quite a bit of fun. But I will tell you what happened the evening after he left. I have a rocking chair in the backyard, and during the early spring, the squirrels got ahold of it, made a hole in it, and began using the stuffing for a nest. I wasn’t too upset as the cushion was in need of being replaced anyway. I just hadn’t gotten around to it. But that evening, despite the hole, I sat down in the chair with my gin and tonic in hand. Hmmmm, I thought. This doesn’t feel very comfortable. I wonder why. I got up and looked at the cushion and what do I see but three or four rocks nestled into the hole. I wonder how they got there?

I love my nana

Let Me Explain
While in Denver, one afternoon I drove over to our nearaby Chick-Fil-A to get Bill and Alastair some lunch. Two Chick-Fil-A combos and an order of six nuggets. Now, let me explain something. The 2003 Volkswagen Beetle is an adorable little car. There are many things I love about my car. But one of the things that the Germans didn’t think through was the cup holder in the front seat. It swings out so that you can fit one normal sized drink as long as normal means a drink in a cup no larger than six inches high. As for the other cup holder – fugittaboutit. It’s, for all intents and purposes, useless. So, because my two combos included two drinks – and I only had one workable drink holder – I asked the cashier in the drive-thru for a drink holder. But I didn’t stop there. I began apologizing to her and explaining about my cars drink holding limitation. After already going into much more detail than I needed, I began wondering about what in the world makes me feel I need to explain everything. The truth of the matter is that the 16-year-old girl couldn’t possibly have cared less if or why I needed a drink holder. Oy vey.

I’m Counting Calories
And one final story that I will tell on myself. Bill and I made a trip to Winco today. Winco is a large economy-priced grocery store that is owned by the employees. (And once again I am explaining myself when it doesn’t matter what Winco is.) Anyway, one of the things we like about Winco is that they have bin after bin of bulk products, including such things as pastas and spices and candy and chips and pretzels and legumes. Think anything bulk and they have it. So Bill picked out a bunch of chocolate-covered peanuts and bananas and caramels and I picked out Jelly Belly jellybeans. A shameful amount of all, really. But we also bought some healthy things like milk and eggs. When we got to the check stand, I realized that I had bought 2% milk rather than fat free. I actually was considering giving up my place in line to go to the back of the store and exchange my milk. Suddenly I looked down at all of the candy and snacks we had purchased and told Bill, “Uh, never mind.” Sometimes I can only laugh at myself.

Sncacks

And I’m worried about 2% milk?

Ciao.

I’ll Get You There on Time

img_supershuttleI haven’t always been terrified of being a passenger in a car. In fact, I used to be able to sleep in a car, feeling no need to provide assistance or advice to the driver. I didn’t clutch the door handle in terror as I do now.

Three things are responsible for my passenger terror: 1)Bill was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease; 2)I had a perforated bowel; and 3)I was in a car accident — not my fault — in which the front end of my yellow bug was destroyed by another car. How did these three things cause me to become the passenger from hell? I learned that stuff happens over which you have no control.

The thing is, for inexplicable reasons, I’m not generally frightened when I am a passenger in a bus, a shuttle car, or a taxi. I’ve tried to think why that is, but I can come up with no viable reason.  But I can almost always sit back, relax, and leave the driving to them.

I say “almost” because yesterday’s ride to the airport was an exception to this reality of my life. I wasn’t just nervous; I, in fact, was certain that I was going to die.

Bill and I have taken to using the services of the Super Shuttle to get to and from the airport In Denver. Our primary reason for doing this is because our recent airplane trips have been at unreasonably atrocious hours — either at the crack of dawn or in the dead of night. It seems unfair to ask any of our children (who have their own children) to join us in the wee hours of the morning or late at night when we can shuttle for $60 round trip for both of us. Therefore, Super Shuttle provides our rides.

Yesterday’s ride started out innocently enough, with our driver arriving on time and greeting us cheerfully despite the fact it was 5 o’clock in the morning and the sun was only barely showing its face. After we got settled, he began our drive. Bill, being friendly and having a couple of cups of coffee under his belt, asked him if we were his first passengers. Nope, he assured us. He had been awake since 2:30 am and had already made a trip to the airport.

It didn’t take long before we realized this was going to be a trip like no other. As he roared down Tower Road, it appeared he was not going to be put off by nuisances such as red lights, even if there was a car stopped at the lights.  I literally sucked in my breath and grabbed Bill’s leg as it appeared he had no inherent plans to stop as we approached a red light. I believe the noise that came from deep in my throat alerted him that he had a nervous passenger, and he slammed on his brakes just before the intersection. But then it happened again. And then again. I finally realized he wasn’t sleeping; this was simply his driving style. If Super Shuttle has some sort of award for the driver whose brakes last the longest, our driver should begin practicing his acceptance speech.

At one point, Bill (who pretty much lets nothing bother him) leaned over and whispered, “Is your rosary somewhere within your reach?”

For the first time in my life, I realized with utter certainty that it is true what they say about air travel being safer than car travel. I’m happy to say we arrived safely at the airport and I will begin my novena that we get a different driver on our trip home in a little over a week.

Our plane ride, by the way, was flawless.