Saturday Smile: Oldie But Goodie

I spent yesterday wrapping gifts, one of my least favorite Christmas jobs. I started putting them under the tree, and then remembered that tonight Kaiya, Mylee, and Cole are having a sleepoverwith us. I’m preeeeeetttty sure I can trust Cole to not open any gifts, but this photo — taken many years ago when Kaiya and Mylee opened up all of their gifts one morning before Christmas while their parents were still sleeping — made me recall that Christmas excitement sometimes gets the better of little ones…..

The guilt on their faces when they got caught. Oy vey. This photo will always make me laugh. Needless to say, I removed the gifts. Why tempt fate?

Have a great weekend.

Thursday Thoughts

It’s Not Just for Dessert Anymore
Last Sunday after Mass we stopped for breakfast at Steak ‘n Shake Restaurant, which is right next door to the church. It’s quick and inexpensive – darnright cheap, in fact – and isn’t half bad. Anyway, we began looking at our menus, and suddenly I saw the placard on the table which read Breakfast Shakes – Solving the breakfast problem. First of all, I didn’t really realize that breakfast was such a problem. Maybe it isn’t for me because I’m retired. Perhaps working people begin stressing about the problem of breakfast the night before. Maybe it even keeps some people awake. But Steak ‘n Shake has your back. You can have cereal and milk all in one beverage. Oh, and don’t forget the ice cream. Because you see, it’s a breakfast milk shake: milk, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, and ice cream. Breakfast of champions…..

It frankly didn’t even sound remotely good to me. However, the peppermint shake with chocolate chips did. I will return sometime before the holidays are over and the peppermint shakes are gone until next year.

Binge
I rarely binge-watch a television program. That isn’t to say that I won’t sit down and watch several programs in a row in the afternoon while I’m crocheting. But I usually like to hop around. But the other day, I sat down to watch Season 3 of Broadchurch, the gripping Netflix mystery that takes place in a little seaside town in England. Each season, there is one mystery that the two detectives solve over the course of eight episodes. This season it was a violent rape of one of the citizens of the small town. I literally sat on my chair and watched all eight episodes in a row. I simply had to find out who was guilty of the crime. As in Seasons 1 and 2, the solution was a total surprise. I won’t give it away, but I recommend this program. Just make sure you have enough time in your day!

It Isn’t Ugly; It’s Just Seasonal
I got a telephone call the other day from Adelaide. Nana, she said, Sunday is our annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Day with our youth group. Can Alastair and Dagny and I borrow one of your Christmas sweaters? You might remember that they borrowed sweaters last year for the same purpose. I agreed, managing not to be insulted by the request. The truth is, I went through a period where I bought a new Christmas sweater every year, and the more garish it was, the better I liked it. So the two girls came over later and selected their sweaters, choosing one of my sweaters for their brother. They returned them on Tuesday, and proudly informed me that Dagny won the prize for the ugliest sweater. I admit I teared up; maybe it was from pride but maybe it was from embarrassment.

Open For Business
One of the new pieces of furniture I bought for our family room was a coffee table. Our old table didn’t work with the new colors. I selected one that not only had storage on the bottom, but opened up to be a table. I envisioned times when I would work at my computer while watching television. In fact, it’s Cole who broke it in earlier this week, using it as his lunch table as he watched Boss Baby……

Ciao.

It Only Sounds Like a Dirty Word

The week following Thanksgiving, I was having lunch with a friend at our favorite Chinese restaurant. As we poked our chopsticks into the sesame chicken, I asked her if she had a good Thanksgiving. She said her Thanksgiving had been nice, not the least because she had a total of two – count ‘em – two complete Thanksgiving dinners. The first dinner was good, she admitted, but the second, ahhhh, the second.

She spatchcocked the turkey, my friend told me with reverence.

It’s an understatement to say that I was impressed. I was certainly impressed that the woman had spatchcocked a turkey. But I was mostly impressed that I knew what the word spatchcocked meant.

I frankly don’t know exactly how I knew what it meant. Perhaps it’s having watched Food Network since its very beginning when Emeril Lagasse was getting applause from his studio audience every time he added more garlic or wine to whatever dish he was making (and perhaps spatchcocking). What I do know for certain is that I didn’t learn the term from my mother, who never spatchcocked a thing in her life. She may or may not have butterflied a chicken, but I believe she died without having ever heard the word spatchcock.

Not to wander too far from the point of this blog post (on the off-chance there is, in fact, a point), I looked up the word to see if I could learn its etymology. Here is what Wikipedia says about the word’s origin:

The word comes from “dispatch cock”, that is, a fowl that is dispatched quickly, and is first attested in 1785.

So there.

But as I read on in the article, Wikipedia suggested I also see blood eagle. Foolishly, I clicked on the link (as I often do on Wikipedia which then takes me off into a link-clicking route that may end up explaining the history of crochet stitches). It seems blood eagle is a type of human execution in which the victim lies prone on a table, his/her ribs are severed from the spine with a sharp tool, and the lungs are pulled through the opening to create a pair of “wings.” I’m telling you, those ancient Brits knew how to torture.

But back to spatchcocking, which is simply another word for butterflying. In other words, you use your kitchen shears or poultry shears and cut out the backbone of some kind of poultry, thereby allowing the bird to lie flat and roast or grill more quickly. The result is a crispier skin.

And, my friends, with chicken, it’s all about the skin.

My mother used to make Cornish game hens. She did not spatchcock them. Instead, she stuffed them with wild rice, slathered them with butter, sprinkled on salt and pepper, and roasted them in the oven. They were heavenly.

One day a year or so ago, I invited Addie, Alastair, Dagny, and Maggie Faith to dinner. I was serving Cornish game hens.  They were thrilled at the prospect. As excited as they were for dinner, they were equally disappointed when instead of little tiny hens lying on their plate, there were spatchcocked hens. Cut in half, no less. They would have been more impressed with KFC.

Ever since that lunch in which I was reminded about spatchcocking, I have been itching to get my hands on something to spatchcock. So last night, I made Cornish game hens, and as you can see, I got my chance…..

 

 

I mixed up about a half stick of butter with a couple of cloves of minced garlic, 1 t. chopped fresh rosemary, and 1 t. dried thyme (which came from my summer garden). I didn’t have any lemons, but lemon zest would have been good too. I salted and peppered the hens on both sides. I then put some of the butter under the skin, and (like my mother) slathered the remaining butter all over. I roasted them at 375 degrees for about an hour. I let them sit for about 10 minutes to rest……

Yum.

For kicks, you could drink a shot of Fireball Whiskey every time you read the word spatchcock in this blog post.

If My Name Was Whiskey

When you got off work at five
I’d be the first thing on your mind every time.
And if I wasn’t where you thought I’d be
You’d drive around ’til you found me
If it took all night.
You’d press me to your lips
Say you never felt like this
And I’d be all you’d need
And you’d get drunk on me.
If my name was Whiskey
Maybe right now you’d miss me. – a recent country song by Michael James Ryan Busbee,Carly Pearce, Shane McAnally, sung by Carly Pearce

My whiskey drinking education program is continuing on track, perhaps even ahead of schedule. I must confess that I may never work my way up to Scotch, because I’m sort of stuck on Crown Royal. It just tastes good to me. Even better – at least so far – than Bourbon. Bourbon drinkers, don’t hate.

But speaking of Bourbon, I have a bit of a story to tell. I’m reading the newest book in one of my favorite mystery series – the Harry Bosch mysteries by Michael Donnelly. Donnelly has two regular series – one features former L.A. police detective Harry Bosch, who is now retired and volunteers on cold cases, and the other is Mickey Haller, who is a defense attorney. Somewhere along the line of these two books, the two aforementioned gentlemen find out they are half-brothers. As such, Donnelly often has an interaction between the two in one or another of his books.

In this particular book, called Two Kinds of Truth, Harry’s former partner stops to visit him in Harry’s home high above the city on Mulholland Drive in L.A.. Harry invites him in but tells him he has no beer; in fact, the only thing he has is an unopened bottle of Bourbon. Jerry is astounded when Harry brings out a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon. The bottle was a gift from an appreciative client, and Harry knows nothing about Bourbon, so he is unaware of its value.

Jerry proceeds to explain that the Bourbon Harry is pouring is extremely valuable. In fact, at one point, Harry has the bottle sitting on the railing of his balcony where a strong breeze could send it to its death. Jerry grabs the bottle and places it on the table.

Fast forward to the next chapter when Harry once again meets up with his half-brother Mickey. After conducting their business, Harry tells Mickey that he recalls when the two of them were each given the bottle of Pappy Van Winkle, and Mickey offered Harry $100 for his bottle, an offer Harry refused on principle. I know now that you were screwing me, Harry tells his brother.

Because I’m now experimenting with whiskey, I paid more attention to that whole passage. How could any whiskey be that valuable, I wondered. I also wondered if Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon was a real thing. It is…..

Fast forward again to this past Sunday. Following Mass and a subsequent breakfast, Bill and I went to our favorite liquor store to pick up a few things – some wine, some beer, etc. Much to our surprise, though it was only a little after 10 in the morning, there was literally a crowd of people milling around the front section of the store. Something was happening…..

We picked up our few things, and as I paid for them, I asked our cashier what the heck was going on. A whiskey lottery, he told us. He went on to say that there were a few brands of whiskey – very valuable brands – that would be sold by lottery to a lucky buyer or two or three.

There are a few brands of Bourbon that are made in very small batches, and they are worth several thousand dollars, he told us. Like PAPPY VAN WINKLE BOURBON.

Whaaaaat? Just think, only a mere month ago, I wouldn’t even have known what he was talking about. Now, here was I, a whiskey connoisseur, ready to step up to the lottery drawing.

Naw, that’s not true. I am totally and entirely unwilling to pay thousands of dollars for a bottle of swill, no matter how good it is. Do you realize how many bottles of Tanqueray gin I could buy for that price?

Still, I’m finding this whiskey culture to be interesting, that’s for sure.

Cheers…..

On the First Day of Christmas….

There are many things I like about the weeks before Christmas. Christmas lights. Christmas music. An excuse to bake cookies. And eat them.

Not the least, however, is that we hear a lot from Isaiah, the fellow who most accurately prophesized the coming of the Lord and Savior some eight centuries before little Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem.

We hear it in some of the carols – e.g. O Come, O Come Emmanuel, sung beautifully by Pentatonix…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGF5KJCf08Q

Of course, those of us who love Handel’s Messiah hear much of Isaiah’s words in the first part of the oratorio written way back in 1741. For unto us a child is born; every valley shall be exalted; and the glory of the Lord shines upon us.

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Purely by accident, I assure you, I was appropriately dressed for the first Sunday of Advent yesterday…..

I was wearing purple, the traditional color of Advent. You might recall that the Advent wreath has three purple candles and one pink candle. The truth is, in our hurry to get to church on time, I grabbed the first clean sweater in my closet, which happened to be lavender. When we took our seat in church, I noticed the family in front of us was wearing purple – Mom and daughter in purple sweaters, Dad in a purple dress shirt. Real men wear purple. Nearly every member of the women’s choir was wearing purple. The priest and deacon were both wearing purple vestments.  I felt smug, a feeling that probably shouldn’t be felt at Mass, and something of which the Prophet Isaiah would not approve.

My sister Jen – who attended a biblical scholar program conducted by the Denver Catholic Archdiocese (so there all you non-Catholics who think Catholics don’t read the bible) – loves to quote the Prophet Isaiah, as she finds great comfort in his words. As for me, I love that he so accurately prophesized the life of Christ, from his birth to his violent death and resurrection.

Isaiah wrote at a time – one of many, I’m afraid – when God’s chosen people had turned away once again, lost in despair. Doesn’t that sound familiar? So many of God’s people have turned away from Him today, wallowing in despair and convinced that the difficult times we are experiencing are evidence that God does not exist. Even I, on occasion, wonder if God has forsaken me.

There is none who calls upon your name, who rouses himself to cling to you; for you have hidden your face from us and have delivered us up to our guilt. – Isaiah 64:6

Sounds like Isaiah has given up on God, and yet, he goes on to say…

Yey, O Lord, you are our father; we are the clay and you the potter: we are all the work of your hands. – Isaiah 64:7

God made us all in his image and likeness. We are the work of his own hands. That thought makes me stop in my tracks and consider that how I experience the Lord in my life is more than wearing purple on the appropriate day, accidental or not.

Advent is the time of preparing the way for the coming of the Lord. I must remind myself throughout these weeks before Christmas to keep my eye on the baby born in Bethlehem whose most important job, ultimately, was to die and be resurrected to save us all.

But he had a lot to do before that happened.

Saturday Smile: Home for the Holidays

When I was younger and had more energy (though less time), I went all-out with my holiday decorations. Two big Christmas trees, a mantle exploding with greenery and lights, Christmas linens and pillows and dishes and cups.

While it’s true that my holiday decorating is a bit tamer, I must tell you that when I turn on my Christmas lights at night, light my candles and the fireplace, and watch my favorite holiday movies and Christmas specials, I am very happy. So my Christmas decorations are what made me smile this week, and will continue to make me smile until ol’ Santa pays his visit.

 

 

 

 

Have a great weekend.

Thursday Thoughts

Religion from Roomba
In my blog post yesterday, I talked about the newest member of our family – Rosie Roomba. I neglected to show you a photo…..

Even as I was writing the post, Rosie was busy vacuuming our bedroom floor. When she finished, I went to check out the results…..

You have all heard of the people who see images of the Virgin Mary on their toast or in their mashed potatoes. Well, I think Rosie might be giving me spiritual messages. Can you see the cross clearly imaged into the carpeting? Hmmmm. Well, at least she’s not leaving me Satanic images.

I Spy
I probably go to my neighborhood King Soopers nearly every, sometimes a couple of times a day. While I always have good intentions, I rarely (and I mean RARELY) remember to bring my own bags, despite the fact that they are almost always in my trunk. That, my friends, simply means I’m too lazy to walk back to my car to get them. Anyway, yesterday I was making at the grocery store, and for a change, I had my own bag. It was sitting in my cart. I went through self-check, something I nearly always do. I had scanned the first item and laid it in the bagging area when the scanner (in her friendly female voice) asked me Do you have your own bag Dummy? Well, the truth is she didn’t say dummy, but she did ask me – FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER – if I had my own bag. I’m pretty sure King Soopers has joined ranks with Google, Amazon, Facebook, and Comcast and is spying on me. How else would she know that I had my bag with me? I wish I could use their spying tactics to make the world a better place.

Slimy Business
When Kaiya is anywhere around, there is likely at least TALK about making slime. And, much to her delight, her cousin Grace (who was one of the visiting dignitaries from AZ this past week) is a slime connoisseur. So, not surprisingly, this happened….

Aunt Bec was there to provide supervision. Cole and Faith are steadfastly sticking to Play Doh, thank you very much.

The Heat is On
I never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but I’m about ready to have the temperatures cool down a bit. Today — when it was supposed to be a bit cooler — my car thermometer showed an outdoor temperature of 63 degrees. Day before yesterday, it hit 81. But just wait. The first cold and snowy day, you will hear Nana’s Whimsies complaining!

Ciao.

Meet George Jetson

When I was young, I loved all of the Hanna Barbera cartoons: The Flintstones, Yogi Bear, Quick Draw McGraw, Magilla Gorilla. In fact, I know all of the characters to this day, their sidekicks, and could sing the theme songs for most of the programs if you held my feet to the fire. My favorite by far was The Jetsons, a story about a family that lives sometime in the future and somewhere in outer space. The animated program ran in prime time in the early 60s, and then again in the mid- to late 80s. Apparently television writers didn’t feel the need for originality like they do now. Ha.

Meet George Jetson
Daughter Judy
His Son Elroy
Jane, his wife.
– Hoyt Curtin

Baby Boomers, you know you are singing the theme song along with me. The song became a hit in 1986, which just goes to show you what the state of music was back in those days.  Take that, Madonna.

One of the main characters was the Jetson’s maid, a robot named Rosie. Though the Jetsons did most of their work by pressing buttons that made things happen in space-agy ways, Rosie did the rest. She not only cooked and cleaned, but provided family counseling as well.

Enter the 21st century.

A few years ago, Jll was given a Roomba as a gift from her sister. Almost immediately, Jll began singing the praises of this contraption, proclaiming that it changed her life. At least her cleaning life. With four children and a full-time job, every extra minute helps.

Roomba, for the uninitiated, is a robotic vacuum cleaner made by a company called iRobot. Once it is charged up, you turn it on and it makes its way around your house, vacuuming as it goes. It seems to follow no particular pattern, but travels around willy nilly. Eventually, it is supposed to vacuum the entire house.

So when Bill and I began seeing light at the end of the hardwood laying tunnel, I began seriously considering the purchase of a Roomba. Because, you see, I don’t vacuum. You have read my past blog posts in which I have proclaimed myself to be a horrible housekeeper, and this fact is further proof. A Roomba seemed the perfect answer.

One of the things I noticed is that Jll referred to her Roomba as Candy. It surprised me somewhat because Jll simply doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would name her appliances. After four kids, one would think she would never want to name another thing in her life. Nevertheless, she would talk about what a great job Candy did the night before, or tell the kids put the chairs on the table so that Candy can do her job.

What I quickly learned after purchase of my Roomba is that when you fill out the warranty, one of the questions asked is the name given the appliance. Yep. I’m telling the truth. iRobot expects you to name your robotic vacuum cleaner.

So what did I name her? Rosie, of course. There wasn’t another alternative, really.

These days, Bill and I spend our mornings sitting in the living room watching Rosie do her job. It’s mesmerizing, really. She stops short of the step leading into our living room. She disappears underneath the sofa and reemerges on the other side like a big black beetle. She moves from room to room unless you block her path. She doesn’t however, provide family counseling. Perhaps the next generation of Roombas.

The first night after our purchase, we turned the switch on Rosie and let her go do her thing. We went to bed, and listened to her not-so-quiet efforts downstairs. All at once, we heard a crash. Bill went to check it out. When he returned, he explained that she had knocked over some TV trays.

“To tell you the truth,” he added, “she’s kind of creepy.”

And, to tell you the truth, she kind of is. But she cleans my floor. Good ol’ Rosie picks up the dust and dirt like a cleaning champ.

Now, iRobot, get to work on those hover cars.

Continuing Education

I recently made a decision to make a change in my life. Am I going to give more to charity following last week’s Mass readings on the Beatitudes? No. Do I plan to audit some college-level classes so that I can have a better understanding of economics or at least learn enough about world geography to figure out where Greenland is? Nope, that’s not my big change either. Am I going to eat healthier, exercise more, cuss less? Au contraire. I will leave all of those for January 1 when I’m deciding upon the resolutions I plan to make in 2018 and quickly forget by February 1.

The big change I have made is that I’m teaching myself to drink whiskey. I’m actually quite serious about it. Perhaps that’s why my new year’s resolutions fail. Being healthier is boring. Expanding my alcoholic consumption options is fun.

You might wonder why I made this decision to enter the whiskey-drinking training program. I blame it on Frank and Erin Reagan. Blue Bloods.

I will admit that Blue Bloods is one of my favorite television programs. My 23-year-old niece Brooke confessed that she had never seen that television show when I was explaining my new endeavor to her. No surprise there, as I would guess the average age of Blue Bloods viewers to be 62. I’m nearly 64, so I’m skewing the age upwards.

Anyway, Frank Reagan (played by Tom Sellick) and his television daughter Erin (played by Tom Brady’s ex-girlfriend, and mother of his child Bridget Moynahan) sit down in Police Commissioner Reagan’s study every Sunday after they gather for the family meal and pour themselves a whiskey. Likely a single-malt Scotch, but I can’t say that for sure. They never pour it over ice. Frank drinks the whiskey accompanied by a considerable amount of sighing. Tom Sellick is a masterful sigher. I have begun sighing as well.

And every week, I wish I drank whiskey. Usually by time I watch Blue Bloods, I’m drinking Sleepytime tea, but my heart wants to be drinking whiskey. Recently one of the characters went to a bar and ordered Irish whiskey with one ice cube. That did it. My training program began the next day.

I had a bottle of Jameson in my liquor cabinet in our AZ home because it had been used when I made Irish cream. (I blogged about it here.) I carefully poured a scant inch in my glass and added one ice cube. I sighed, just in case that was part of the deal, and took a sip. Not bad. Not bad at all……

I drank the entire inch of Jameson and added another inch and another ice cube and sipped at my new drink until it was gone. I stopped training for the day, as my stomach was getting warm and my head was getting light.

I actually did some research on Google because, as you know, you can find anything on Google. A history of whiskey was easy to find, as were suggestions on how to start teaching yourself how to like whiskey. I’m serious. See above. Anything on Google. The article suggested starting with Canadian blends or Irish whiskey, moving to Bourbons (which apparently have their own rules), and working up to Scotch. I was at the Crown Royal stage.

Last week when our AZ family arrived to celebrate Thanksgiving, I told them about my training program. Have you tried Makers Mark? my nephew Christopher immediately asked. I explained that I was still in the Canadian blend/Irish whiskey phase. Apparently he believed my training program was moving too slowly as he showed up the next day with a bottle of Makers Mark bourbon. I love people who encourage continuing education.

I poured myself a scant inch (well, perhaps a bit more than that) and added an ice cube. Not bad. Not bad at all……

By the way, the apron sleeve was crooked before I had my first drink. I promise.

It will be a long time, however, before I reach for the Black Label. I’m only in training, as you know. But for the time being, I’m pushing my Tanqueray gin to the back of the liquor cabinet and moving the Crown Royal and Makers Mark towards the front.

It’s good to continue one’s education, don’t ya know.

Sounds of Silence

All of the Thanksgiving out-of-towers began scattering Saturday. They dribbled and drabbled away in different directions. It was a splendid holiday, because being with family always is.

As usual, when the last person left (it happened to be our niece Brooke, who caught a midnight flight home to AZ), it felt the same as it always does. First, a big PHEW because we all made it without a single unpleasant incident. Then came the stillness, a silence that is partially a relief but mostly bittersweet. And then Bill and I collapsed in our new recliners and sat numbly and watched the end of the National Dog Show, which I had recorded on Thanksgiving. (Good job Brussels Griffon.)

And by the way, a big shout-out to Brooke, who gamely spent Saturday night with her aunt and uncle watching Dalmatians and Afghan Hounds and Portuguese Water Spaniels prancing around the ring with nary a snicker (Brooke, that is; not the dogs). This, after spending the afternoon in downtown Denver with Jen and I and not complaining one little bit when I suggested this photo op…..

One of the things I always do on Thanksgiving is put up my angel tree in our living room. Every year when I contemplate the activity, I begin my annual lamenting about how difficult that tree is to assemble and how it requires Bill’s help. He is always willing to drag the thing up the stairs and put it together without complaint, but it is a pain in the neck and I know he grits his teeth and does it because it means a lot to me. So as usual, I stated to everyone who would listen that one of these years, I am going to buy a new tree that I can put up by myself. This year people answered. First, my daughter-in-law Lauren said, “Kris, why don’t you just go somewhere this afternoon and buy a new tree?” Hmmmm. Then my sister Bec told me that she owns a very easy-to-assemble pre-lit Christmas tree that she put up herself.

Boom.

So my two sisters and I went to Home Depot Friday after lunch, walked over to a tree that was pre-lit, easy to assemble, and extremely affordable. Before you know it, I had a new Christmas tree, just like that. What will I complain about next year?

I had the tree up in no time. Generally, the grandkids help decorate. This year, the grandkids were scattered, but my great-niece Faith was on the job like a dog on a bone. While it’s true I had to do a bit of ornament rearranging after she left, I appreciated her decorating expertise…..

In the glory days of my youth, I did a lot of Christmas decorating. Since we leave for AZ on Christmas Day, I spend Christmas Eve day being the Grinch before his heart grew three sizes. Therefore, decorating is much more restricted. Still, I put some holiday touches in my newly-remodeled family room, put some pretty wreaths on my doors (thanks to my sister-in-law Sami, and put out some Christmas candles.

My Christmas goal for today is to go through all of the Amazon packages I have been receiving throughout this past week and make sure that everything I’ve ordered has arrived. Then the real fun begins – giftwrapping.

And the smell of roasted turkey has barely dissipated.