Category Archives: Whimsies

One is the Loneliest Number

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I don’t know how these things come to my attention. It doesn’t matter, really. Somehow I came across a report from National Public Radio about a research study conducted by Cigna that indicates that Americans are extremely lonely, and furthermore, that young people – the so-called Generation Z – are the loneliest of us all.

Apparently the president and CEO of Cigna was shocked – SHOCKED, I tell you – that these young people (you know, the ones who stare at their cell phones for literally hours out of each day) – say they always feel alone or left out, or at least do sometimes.

First of all, I want to state unequivocally that I am not making light of loneliness. Profound loneliness leads to all sort of mental and physical health issues, not the least being suicide. I simply think that if we start measuring loneliness by including people who say they sometimes feel lonely, we are short-changing those who actually experience serious loneliness.

Having said this, I will also tell you that I sometimes feel lonely. Right now, even as I write this post, Bill and his best friend are out in our back yard flying their drones. Seriously, the buzzing is so loud that I’m expecting either a swarm of bees to come check it out, or the police to screech up to our door where they will find two senior citizens looking up to the sky at their drones, having a blast and not feeling lonely. In the meantime, I am here in the house feeling left out of the fun because I don’t have a drone. Take that, Mr. Cigna CEO. I’m feeling lonely.

Using the UCLA Loneliness Scale – and I can’t believe I get astonished that there are such things as loneliness scales, the bill for which is likely footed by unbelievably high tuition payments from a bunch of really lonely UCLA students – it was determined that 54 percent of us sometimes feel no one really knows us. Furthermore, 56 percent of us sometimes feel like people are around us, but not necessarily with us.  Two out of five of us sometimes feel isolated from others and that our relationships aren’t meaningful.

Quite frankly, given that they are using the word “sometimes”, I’m shocked that the number isn’t closer to 95 percent. Are there really people who can say they never feel like someone wasn’t paying attention to them. Those that claim absolutely no loneliness never had a teenager. And speaking of teenagers, apparently Generation Z-ers (born between the mid 1990s and the early 2000s) are the loneliest of the lot, followed closely by millennials (who are just a bit older).

The article goes on to cite another study conducted by San Diego State University on loneliness that indicates that the more time spent looking at some kind of screen, the lonelier you are. People with more face-to-face interaction (you know, with people) are likely to be less lonely. Again, I hope the students who attend San Diego State University don’t mind paying for studies with results that could have been predicted by a few 5-year-olds playing tag on the playground. Playing together and not feeling lonely.

I don’t hate technology. Heck, I write a blog every day, using technology I don’t even understand. But it never fails to surprise me – astound me, really – when I look around a restaurant and see two people sitting at a table, each looking at their phones. Or, even worse, one looking at his or her phone and the other staring off into the distance, likely feeling lonely.

I’m pretty sure if some sociology Ph.D. students could round up enough money to finance research on boredom, they would find that most of us sometimes feel bored as well as lonely.

My takeaway from reading the article is that we should all buy drones and spend lovely spring afternoons flying them with our best friends. Oh, and that if we SOMETIMES feel some sort of anything, don’t mention it if you are participating in a research study. They take it very seriously.

Spring is Bustin’ Out

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March went out like a lion
Awakin’ up the water in the bay;
Then April cried and stepped aside,
And along came pretty little May! – Rogers and Hammerstein, from Carousel

I have lived in Colorado since 1973, and in Denver since 1975. I have seen countless snowstorms in May, one as recently as last year. The snows are generally very wet and not the kind that paralyze the city. The next day the snow is mostly melted and the green grass is peeking through what’s left. But the nighttime temperatures – even when it doesn’t snow – often get down near freezing. However, it’s the daytime temperatures that get me every time.

The rule of thumb is NO PLANTING BEFORE MOTHERS’ DAY. It’s fine to put in your carrot or radish seeds. Lettuce seeds can withstand cold soil. But don’t be lulled into thinking this time – THIS TIME – it will be different. Even if the temperature is 75 degrees and the sky is blue.

I’ve learned the lesson the hard way. I have spent several hundred dollars on garden plants and put them in the ground on a lovely May afternoon, pre-Mothers’ Day, only to watch a cold snap take them all. So, while I’ve learned my lesson, I still find myself jonesing to put some plants in the ground when the weather is as nice as it’s been the past few days.

After Mass yesterday, Bill stopped at an Ace Hardware near our church. It so happens that this particular Ace Hardware has a fantastic plant nursery attached to it. I told Bill I would wander around the nursery while he got his tool.

Next thing I knew, somehow my cart contained a grape tomato plant, a Roma tomato plant, some Swiss chard, a jalapeno plant, a beautiful basil plant, some radish and carrot seeds, and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, not the partridge (though it looks like our pear tree will bear fruit this year), but the rest is true.

Bill gave me the eye when he caught up with me a bit later. I’m not going to put these in the ground yet, I assured him. Which, of course, will mean that I have to nurture the little devils through the next week or so by taking them out in the morning and bringing them back at night. I think it is safe for me to plant the radishes and the carrots, but the rest will have to wait…..

“I simply can’t not buy garden plants in the spring when the weather gets nice,” I told him. His response? I think that’s a double negative, Miss Smarty Grammar Pants. Well, he didn’t exactly call me Miss Smarty Grammar Pants, and he was, in fact, right. What I meant was I’m incapable of deferring purchase of garden plants until a more appropriate time when the weather is screaming SPRING.

But the other things that I hear screaming are the weeds in our yard. We are back in Denver a bit earlier this year than we have the past couple of years. As a result, while we are not completely ahead of the weeds, we are definitely in a better position than in years past. So I spent Friday pulling weeds, weeds, and more weeds. The disheartening fact of the matter, however, is that when it comes to weeds, there are always more weeds. Despite a morning of weeding and cleaning up last summer’s perennials, the yard still looks, well, weedy……

But perhaps it’s nothing that a little mulch can’t help. And we dangled the idea of paying cash money in front of our grandson Alastair in exchange for a little help next week. He agreed to help his papa buy bags and bags of bark that he will then spread onto our fountain garden and Papa will supervise. Grandkids = Cheap Labor…..

But I did take some time off from outdoor cleanup to watch the Kentucky Derby on Saturday. While I didn’t drink a mint julip, I did have a couple of fingers of a nice bourbon while cheering on my chosen horse, Vino Rosso. I’m glad I didn’t bet our entire fortune as I’m pretty sure he came in dead last….

Happy Spring!

Saturday Smile: I Love Birthdays

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I love birthdays. That’s what our now-4-year-old grandson Cole was singing as he bounced around our house when we celebrated his birthday Thursday night, one day early. And who doesn’t?

Four years ago, Cole presented himself to the world, and specifically to his two older sisters…..

Now he is a very busy, super funny, and much-loved boy, our youngest grandchild. He requested spaghetti and meatballs as his meal choice…..

As for his birthday cake, white cake with vanilla frosting, and sprinkles. Which piece do you think was designed for him…..

His sister Kaiya helped him blow out his candles…..

Happy birthday, Cole. You make me smile every day….

 

Have a great weekend.

Friday Book Whimsy: The Girl Who Takes an Eye For An Eye

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Lisbeth Salander is not for everyone, and The Girl Who Takes an Eye for an Eye, the fifth in the so-called Millennium Series that started with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, won’t be a book that everyone would want to read.

The original author, Stieg Larsson, passed away a few years ago, and the series was taken over fairly seamlessly by an author named David Lagercrantz, who has managed to keep the flavor of the books. Both the original author and the new author are Swedish, and I find that the translations make the writing style very unique.

The main character, Lisbeth Salander, is also unique in that she is strong, brilliant, absolutely without emotion, and yet fights strongly for herself and anyone else she believes is being treated unfairly. In The Girl Who Takes an Eye for an Eye, Lisbeth manages to save a young Islamic woman who is in prison with her from the woman’s evil brothers, and fights off a prison gang leader who has Lisbeth in her sights. She, along with one of the very few people she trusts – journalist Mikael Blompkvist – work together to  uncover a secret plan from years ago in which parents of twins were unwillingly required to separate their children for scientific research.

The books are brutal in nature, and usually have quite vivid sex scenes, though this one didn’t. I will admit that they are not my favorite mysteries, but there is something very compelling about the main character and the paths she follows that make me continue to enjoy the series.

If you have read the rest of the series, you can’t stop now!

Here is a link to the book.

Thursday Thoughts

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And We’re Back in Denver
We arrived home yesterday afternoon right at 3 o’clock, to find the man who transported Bill’s sports car to Denver sitting in front of our driveway in his big truck. He must have flown like the wind to beat us home. He was originally supposed to deliver it today, but he said it would help him a lot if he could deliver it yesterday so that he could get home earlier. Perhaps he has a wife who told him it would be nice if he dropped by once in a while instead of driving other people’s cars to and fro. Anyway, we all made it in one piece.

But, No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition
So, we spent a nice evening in Albuquerque, eating at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and getting to bed at a reasonable hour. We awoke early, had breakfast, packed up what few things we had brought into the room, dropped off our key, got in the car, pressed the start button……NOTHING. Absolutely N-O-T-H-I-N-G. So we called AAA and they sent a man to jump the battery……

He also did a diagnostic which told him that the battery was shot. About that time, the man with Bill’s car was probably shooting by in a desperate attempt to beat us to Denver. Anyway, we ended up going to the nearby Walmart, where they were able to install a new battery in pretty quick order. While we weren’t on the road at 6:30 as we had hoped, we drove out of Walmart’s parking lot at 8:30. It could have been worse. By the way, there is a scene in The Blind Side in which Leigh Anne Tuohy, played magnificently by Sandra Bullock, greets Nick Saban, who has come to visit her son Michael Oher. She says to her husband, “Now, I find him to be very attractive,” to which her husband replies, “You know I’m standing here, right?” That’s sort of the way I felt about our AAA fellow, whose name was Ulysses. I found him to be very good looking, even under the circumstances. Unlike Sandra Bullock, I kept my mouth shut, however.

Would a Little Lettuce Kill Ya?
Admittedly, however, it was not a pretty picture, because after finishing our marginal Hampton Inn breakfast, we at nothing but junk food until we went out to dinner in Denver after arriving home. No rest for the wicked, donchaknow. But after a day of Chex Mix, Red Vines, and Diet Mountain Dew, my body was screaming for something healthy.

Bloomin’
I had arranged to have someone cut our grass so that we didn’t have to hit the ground running with yard work, and it was nice to see the pretty green lawn when we pulled into our driveway. Not only that, but since we arrived home sooner than we have the past few years, we are able to enjoy these lovely spring blessings…..

Our forsythia bush is about done blooming.

Some of our late blooming tulips.

Looks like we might get pears this year.

We have three apple trees, and they are all in bloom. Lovely flowers.

Ciao.

Guest Post: Amazing Arizona: Flagstaff

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By Rebecca Borman

Every spring, a group of volunteers from the Desert Botanical Garden takes a trip to an Arizona destination.  This year’s trip took us a few hours north, to the city of Flagstaff.  Even though most of us had been to Flagstaff at some point, we all had some new experiences.

Our first afternoon’s activity was one of my favorites.  Willow Bend Environmental Center offers what they call the Downtown Geology Walk.  A young and knowledgeable guide first reminded us that there are a lot of rocks in that area of Arizona, and after several major fires, the city fathers decided that it might be advisable to use rock rather than wood for their buildings.  The tour took us to some of the best examples, and our guide showed us the different kinds of rocks that were used.  It was fun to combine just a little geology with a tour of some of the important and beautiful buildings downtown.  The Ice House, for example, is near the railroad tracks, because fresh produce was brought by rail from California and stored there.  The rock walls allowed the building to stay cool, even in the summer…..

That evening, we had another adventure, this time at Lowell Observatory.  Flagstaff is a “low-light” city, so its observatory gets spectacular views of the night sky.  After listening to several lectures, most of us decided to brave the cold and do some star-gazing.  With the help of the observatory staff and their huge telescopes, I got to look at stars that are hundreds of light-years away.  Very cool.  It was a great first day!

The next morning found us at the Museum of Northern Arizona.  The building isn’t very large and it’s so nondescript that it would be easy to pass it by on the way out of town.  That would be a big mistake!  Inside is a trove of beautiful artifacts.  There are several different docent tours, and we chose the one that focuses on the culture of the Native Americans of the Colorado Plateau.  We had the great luck of being there only 5 days after their newest gallery opened, and it’s one of the most beautiful galleries and exhibits I’ve ever seen.  The docent gave us some information about the general organization and pointed out a few displays, but he repeatedly encouraged us to walk back through when the tour was finished and take our time, which we did.  We spent more than two hours in the museum.  I’ll definitely return, and I’d encourage anyone who visits Flagstaff to take time to see it.  And, just as a side note, the museum gift shop has lovely items, including a bracelet I couldn’t pass up!

After lunch, we drove to the campus of Northern Arizona University to visit the Riordan Mansion.  I have to admit I’m not usually a big fan of touring fancy houses and mansions.  But this one did not disappoint.  The house was built in 1904 by two brothers, Tim and Mike Riordan, who were married to sisters.  The house is an enormous duplex.  Again, we had a great docent, who brought the house to life.  That wasn’t hard to do, however, because the house seemed so modern and comfortable.  It was hard to believe it was build over 100 years ago.  The bedrooms were big and sunny.  The dining room had a table shaped like a canoe, so that all diners would face each other.  And the living room had a large swing for a sofa.  I was ready to move in!  For me, it was an unexpected delight…..

The next morning, we set off in snow flurries for our last adventure, Bearizona in Williams, about 30 minutes away.  Bearizona is privately funded and features a drive-through wildlife park.  Visitors may drive their own vehicles, but if they want the full experience, the best choice is to take the “Wild Bus Ride.”  Once we were on the open-air bus, our driver/guide set out, and we began our trip through the animal park.  She gave us a lot of information about the park and about the animals.  Most of them are rescue animals.  It’s hard to believe that people actually think it’s ok to cage a bear or wolf as a “pet,” but that happens, and when Fish and Wildlife nab these evildoers, the animals are often sent to Bearizona.  The animals are in their natural habitat, but the different species are separated by fences.  Because they’re still wild animals.  They are not fenced back from the road, however, so they might come right up to the bus or saunter slowly across the road.  The animals are doing what animals actually do in nature, and it is very much fun to see them.  Our driver knew every animal by name, and she often predicted individual behaviors.  Despite the cold weather, we had a great time……

But, by this time, most of us were worn out.  Geology, anthropology, history, architecture, animal science, and lots of walking and good food.  It was time to go home.  We voted it one of our best trips ever, and I came home determined to visit Flagstaff again and soon.  It’s a city with lots of surprises!

Arizona Memories

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After doing just about anything to avoid the inevitable, on Saturday, we finally got busy for reals and began getting ready to drive back to Denver. If you read this post on Tuesday morning, we will either have hit the road or will be close to doing so. Mr. I-Transport-Ridiculously-Expensive-Male-Toys is coming today mid-morning to pick up Bill’s sports car to carry back to Denver and we will leave soon thereafter. Since Mr. ITREMT is picking up a second car as well, he doesn’t think he will be at our Denver front door until Thursday.

Bill’s Ferrari 308 and the McLaren that the driver will pick up in Scottsdale will be the lone vehicles in this massive truck…..

If the two cars were characters in Cars XV, they would pass the time talking about how boring it is to belong to men who can’t legally drive them more than 75 mph on a good day. Why can’t I be a race car like my cousin Lightning McQueen?

Each year when we arrive in AZ, we have big plans to take many day trips or overnight excursions around the state. This year, like most years, mostly that didn’t happen. Instead, Bill has been kept pretty busy between doing legal work and dealing with all of the things that surprise you when you own a home. My contribution to our lack of excursions was a visit to the hospital early in March.

Nonetheless, while we didn’t spend every weekend traveling around AZ, we did do some fun things. For the first time ever, we saw Zoo Lights. That has been on my to-do list for a number of years…..

We made it to Las Vegas, NV, where we got to see my niece dance as part of the Jabbawockeez dance group, and to enjoy time with her……

We took several drives up to Saguaro Lake – one in the Ferarri for a picnic, after which the car wouldn’t start…..

Our second trip was to find the wild horses which everyone brags about seeing. Everyone but us, because they were nowhere to be found. We did, however, enjoy the hike, and we will leave the damned elusive horses for next year…..

We made it to one Spring Training game – opening game at Salt River Field between the Rockies and the D-Backs…..

Bill and my brother Dave watched cars go around in a circle at NASCAR, and Bill spent cash money on duds representing his favorite driver, Chase Elliott…..

Bryce Thompson Arboretum turned out to be one of the most interesting excursions we took this winter…..

We ate Mexican…..

and German…..

and Polish…..

and Greek, and Italian, and even Chicago with a stop at Portillo’s…..

We celebrated New Year’s Day…..

Mardi Gras…..

Easter…..

…and even National Chocolate Cake Day…..

So, all-in-all, it was a good winter with people I love. The best news though is that I’m going home to more people I love!

Water, Water Everywhere, But Not a Drop to Drink

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As I have mentioned approximately 101 times in the recent past, there are things about living in AZ that I like, and things that I don’t particularly like. I like that I can sit outside on a sunny February afternoon and drink a martini on my patio because it’s warm enough and it’s 5 o’clock somewhere. I don’t like that I have to check my bed every night for scorpions. I like that I can open my front door almost every morning that we are here and listen to the mockingbirds go through their repertoire of songs. I don’t like that when it’s even slightly windy, there is so much dust in the air that the skies look gray instead of blue. I like to watch the road runner sprint across our back fence. I don’t like that I have to stop walking in the desert after March because I might run into a rattlesnake.

Perhaps the thing about which I grow most weary while living in AZ is that I can’t simply go to my kitchen or bathroom faucet and get a drink of water. It’s not that we live like Laura Ingalls of Little House on the Prairie fame and have to pull water out of a well. It’s just that the water in the Valley of the Sun is practically undrinkable. I’m not just being a diva. It tastes nasty and everyone who lives here will confirm that the water is foul. The ubiquitous lemon that you find in nearly every glass of water served in restaurants isn’t just for looks. The lemon is a desperate attempt to make the water drinkable. Mostly it makes it taste like lemony horribleness.

I’ve been told that the reason the water in this area tastes terrible is that it comes from the Colorado River, and as it makes its way down the mountain, it gathers minerals. Of course, I was also told as a teenager that it was a great idea to put baby oil on your skin in the summer so that I would turn a deep dark brown. That’s just a reminder to consider our sources.

At any rate, Phoenix’s hard water is the reason that you will see Water & Ice stores all over the place. The first time I saw one of these stores I was a young, wet-behind-the-ears woman coming from a place where Coors beer was brewed from Rocky Mountain spring water. I couldn’t imagine why there was a need for a store that sold water and ice. After all, in Colorado, I could get a glass out of my cupboard, get a few cubes of ice out of my refrigerator, go to the sink and get myself a glass of good-tasting water. Water that wouldn’t give you a stomach ache. It didn’t take me many visits to AZ before I realized why there were water and ice stores – because both water and ice must come from someplace other than your sink.

One of the first things Bill and I purchased when we moved into our AZ home was a water dispenser. So, every two or three weeks, we drive to the nearest Water & Ice store, fill up our three big jugs with water that has gone through reverse osmosis, pay the attendant, and drive home……

It’s frankly a pain in the neck, but it’s the price we pay to have drinkable water. Many people install reverse osmosis devices in their homes; we haven’t done that as of yet. The water is inexpensive and it’s not like our days are frantic. Likely some day we will revert to that option.

When I had my overnight stay at Hotel Banner Hospital in March, I mentioned to the nurse that I have had three small bowel obstructions, and they have all been while we have been in AZ. That seemed particularly unusual to me, I told her, since we spend less time here than in Denver. She looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and said, “Hmmm, could it be the water?”

I don’t know. Could it?

My family and friends who know me are laughing at this post right now because they know how hard I have to work to get eight glasses of water into my system each day. I’m rarely thirsty, and when I am, it’s not for water. But I dutifully fill my water jug each day – twice, in fact – and drink the water. So there!

But if the nurse – a highly-educated medical professional – thinks it might be the water, who am I to argue? I prefer gin over water any day of the week.

Not eight glasses, however, so don’t start planning an intervention.

Friday Book Whimsy: The Dry

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The Dry, by Jane Harper, takes place in a small town in Australia, the kind of small town where everybody knows everyone else’s family and has their nose into who’s doing what. It’s from that small town that Australian Federal Agent Aaron Falk escapes after one of his friends is found dead decades before, and he was a suspect in her murder. Now, his childhood BFF Luke – who provided Aaron’s with an alibi that kept him from being arrested – has died from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, after killing his wife and his young son.

So, after all this time, Falk returns home for the funeral, and to try and come to grips with how this friend could have possibly done something so uncharacteristic, so against his nature. Well, it turns out that Luke’s parents also don’t believe it, and they convince Falk – who isn’t a homicide investigator, but instead conducts financial investigations – to, well, investigate.

But here’s the thing: Falk knows that the alibi that Luke provided years ago was a lie; however, he also knows that he was innocent of the crime. Could the two murders be connected in some way? He reluctantly agrees to spend a few days looking into the deaths.

The author doles out the secrets of both crimes little by little, leaving the reader to suspect different people throughout the book. The plot is set against the worst drought in a century. The writing is so good that you can practically fill the heat and hear the crunch of the grass as the characters walk through the plot.

I found the solution unpredictable almost to the end of the book, though I will admit to figuring it out just a bit before the detective.

The Dry is the first in a series, and her second book – Force of Nature — was released this past February. I’m eager to see if it’s as good as The Dry.

Here is a link to the book.