Here’s how I know that I’m getting old and crabby now that I’ve turned 66.
Almost daily, I get something from Google on my Apple watch or iPhone alerting me to the fact that some old fart has put out a new album. For awhile, it was Jerry Lee Lewis. I don’t know why Google thinks I like Jerry Lee Lewis. Maybe it enjoyed the book review I did about the old time rock-and-roller. But I don’t want to buy — or even listen to — his album. Ol’ Jerry Lee hit his peak just a little before my time. Yes grands, there is a period before my time.
Lately, however, I’ve been getting alerts from Google that Tony Bennett has put out a new Christmas album. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to buy — or even listen to — anything Tony Bennett releases any more. Unlike Jerry Lee Lewis, I have long been a fan of Tony Bennett. I enjoy listening to jazz singers, so-called Rat Pack type music. Michael Buble, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett. But Tony, can I please ask you to stop the madness?
Let’s call a horse a horse. He no longer sings. He talks against a music background. He barely sings a note. And Tony, God love you. You’re 93 years old. You’ve had a good run. But please ask Google to stop thinking I want to buy your new Christmas album. I’m sticking with my old Andy Williams albums. You know, the one he recorded when he was 36?
Having said all of the above, I have to admire Mr. Bennett for all he does for a man of his advanced years. I can say that without worrying about the PC police because I, too, am in the more, um, mature age group. Plus, he’s 93, making me seem like a kid.
Here he is, 93 years old and yet he gets up out of his La-Z-Boy to make the trek to the recording studio. I wonder if he takes one of those retirement home buses that make me second-guess my decision to grocery shop if I see one parked in front of the grocery store. I can hear his fellow bus riders. Hey Tone. Stop snapping your fingers back there. You’re getting on my nerves.
I give a lot of credit to the old performers and rockers. I mean, Keith Richard is living proof that sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll are good for you. I don’t think he’s ever going to die…..
Nevertheless, I don’t want to buy his album either.
And Jimmy Buffett? He’s starting to look like my college biology professor…..
But, as I say, grouchy as I sound, I am impressed that these performers still have the get-up-and-go to continue to perform. The most get-up-and-go that I have these days is when I get up and go to the restroom in the middle of the night.
But Google! I don’t want to buy Tony Bennett’s Christmas album.