I Took My Financial Advisor Off of Speed Dial

So, I didn’t win the powerball drawing. I thought I might. I know my chances were 1 in 292.2 million, but once when I was in grade school, my mom won a dishwasher in a church raffle. So, there’s always hope.

I purchased 5 of the 635,103,137 that were sold for the January 13 drawing, and 5 the week before. That brings the total of the number of powerball numbers I’ve purchased in my life to, well, 10. I was such a neophyte about the process, in fact, that I had to ask the woman at the customer service desk of my neighborhood Basha’s how to go about it. She looked at me oddly and said, “You give me $2 for each powerball number and I give you a piece of paper with your numbers on it.” And then she went home and told her family about the weird old person she helped that day.

I have heard a number of people say they were glad that they didn’t win because they didn’t want the stress of what to do with the money. I don’t believe them. I’m not glad I lost, and deciding what to do with the money would have caused me no stress whatsoever. No, I really mean it. I’ve never been rich and I would like to give it a try.

Like the millions of others who purchased powerball tickets, Bill and I talked about what we would do with our money when we won. After more discussion than you would probably think reasonable given my 5 numbers, we came up with a list.

For our children….

Allen – We would buy him a condo or small home near where he has his studio and a new car, maybe a Toyota Camry.
Dave – We would pay off their home mortgage, his law school loan, and his car loan. We would buy Jll a new van because hers has way too many miles.
Heather – We would buy them the house in Montpelier where they currently live and a new car, maybe a Subaru SUV so that they fit in with 95 percent of the other people in Vermont.
Court – We would pay off their home mortgage, their car loan, and buy him a new car that fits three kids but is kind of sporty.

But there’s more….

We would buy out Jen’s share of our AZ house and buy EITHER Mary’s house (across the street from Maggie and Mark) or the Canadians’ house (right next door to us) for her to live. It’s true neither house is for sale, but when you have 750 million smackers (after taxes), you can be quite convincing.

For all of our kids and grandkids, our siblings and their kids, and Shirley, we would treat everyone to a trip to Disney World in Orlando, FL, with rooms at the Grand Floridian. We briefly considered a Disney Cruise but decided the chances were too great that one or two of our grandkids could take a nosedive into the Atlantic. (That would be Cole and/or Micah.) Our great nieces and great nephews are welcome, but not on our dime. Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know!

Oh, and I’d finally get new carpeting for our house in Denver. You can only live with carpeting that was installed sometime during the Carter administration for so long.

Alas, none of those dreams are going to come to fruition for our kids, unless someone makes a pretty compelling argument to a particular person or persons who live in Tennessee, Florida, and California.

I have purchased my last powerball ticket. Well, until the next time the winnings creep into the billions.

Oh, and by the way, we did win $4. Not enough for carpeting, I’m afraid.

Powerball winners

Not Powerball winners

Not Powerball winners

This post linked to the GRAND Social

8 thoughts on “I Took My Financial Advisor Off of Speed Dial

  1. I heard last week that the chances are better to get hit by a meteor than win the powerball. I don’t get it. I’ve never heard of any person getting hit by a meteor but people do win powerball.
    But I digress. Thank you for your kindness and generosity but I feel like you and Bill are giving me the boot. I love the Sanchez wing. Can I trade the new house for a climate controlled storage unit?

    • But Jen….a new house right across the street from your grandkids! Dave’s mad because he doesn’t get anything. He doesn’t want to go to Disney World even if it means seeing Lexie on Pirates of the Caribbean. Sign. Family problems are beginning and I didn’t even win.

  2. Your generosity astounds me, honestly, but at my age and where I live I experience Disneyland on a daily basis. And, that’s just putting on my bra in the morning!

  3. I think it is probably more fun to think about what to do with the riches than to actually have them.

    All of us parents think of our kids and grands first. My second thought was about having to learn a new phone number when I changed my good one!

    But as one of my best friends has always said,” I’ve never been rich in money, but I am rich in my family and friends.” So , No problems….

  4. Congratulations on the $4 win! We are constantly planning how to spend our millions when we win them – eternal optimists – and like you, much would go towards helping out the kids. I think the stress of working out how to spend the money is much less than wondering if you’ve planned right for a comfortable retirement.:). Found you on GRAND Social.

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