A Little Nag Will Do Ya

Bill and I were driving to church yesterday morning, and somehow got to talking about the seven deadly sins. You know, pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth. One year for Lent, rather than giving up candy or eating between meals, I instead selected a different deadly sin each day of the week, and concentrated instead on “giving up” actions related to that sin.

I told Bill that I thought I got more out of that particular Lenten sacrifice than I had any other time. I went on to say I think I should do that every day, not just during Lent.

“Is nagging one of the seven deadly sins?” Bill asked, his voice full of hope.

Very funny.

But unbeknownst to either Bill or me, the theme for the Mass readings was praying endlessly. And, to my delight, the gospel was the one in which Jesus tells his friends the parable about the bad judge and the woman who nags the judge again and again until he finally gives in and agrees to give her a just judgement.

The moral? Nag God. Badger him endlessly. Pester him until you think he will listen to you. In other words, pray, pray, pray, pray. And if you haven’t gotten the answer you want, pray some more.

Jesus asked his friends: Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call out to him day and night?

The challenge, of course, is to be open to God’s answer, which may not be the answer for which you’ve been hoping.

This election season has been very stressful for me. Quite frankly, I’m appallingly unhappy with my choices for president. Not voting is not an option for me. So I will vote, but I’m not kidding even a little bit when I tell you that I don’t think I will know for whom I will vote until I sit down and fill out my ballot.

It’s caused me to lose sleep. I’ve cried. I’ve felt helpless and frightened.

And then recently, my stepmother began posting something on Facebook on a somewhat regular basis that actually made me breath again. Her message is simple. Vote, and then pray.

So God, prepare to be nagged.

By the way, on a related note, please read the attached link to a Daily Mail article in which the publication cites research indicating that husbands with nagging wives actually live longer than those whose wives don’t hound them endlessly.

See Bill, it’s for your own good. You’re welcome.

And despite the nuns’ assertion that puns were the lowest form of humor…..

Roy dreaded the nights his wife would badger him mercilessly.

This post linked to the GRAND Social

 

Saturday Smile: In Marlin Perkins’ Dreams

Even naturalists like to make a fashion statement.

On Tuesday I watched Cole while his mommy chaperoned Kaiya’s field trip to a nature center. When I stopped by at 8:15 a.m. to pick up the boy, Kaiya answered the door, looking cute as a bug wearing shorts, a baseball cap, and bright pink flowered rain boots. “Wow, why the boots?” I asked her.

“We are going to be up to our ankle in water, Nana,” she said. “And there will be (gulp) BUGS in the water.” Oh no.

Well, I told her that sounded kind of yucky, and asked her if she was a bit nervous about walking in water where there are insects.

“Not really,” she assured me. “I’m hoping the only bugs in the water will be ladybugs.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that was an improbability.

But these photos tell me that whether or not she was the bravest among the naturalists, she was certainly the fanciest. You might notice that no one else is wearing pink boots to explore the wild….

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Have a great weekend.

Friday Book Whimsy: Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

If I’d known the format of this book – entirely a series of e-mails, flashbacks, school documents, notes, and so forth – I assure you I wouldn’t have picked up this book. I generally know what I’m about to embark upon when I start a book, but I had heard so much about this novel that I dove in unprepared.

I couldn’t possibly be happier that I did, because Where’d You Go, Bernadette?, by Maria Semple, will undoubtedly be one of my favorite books read in 2016.

The characters in a book are very important to me. If I don’t like any of the characters – and in particular, the main character – I am liable to dislike the book. Bernadette Fox is not only likeable, she will be one of my favorite book characters ever. I wish she was a real person and that she was my friend.

Don’t be put off by the format of the book. The author puts it all together so cleverly that it easily reads like a novel despite the lack of chapters and traditional dialogue.

Bernadette seems to have the perfect life. Her husband Elgie is a bigwig at Microsoft Corporation in Seattle. Their daughter Bee is a prodigy, super-smart and funny, despite having been born with a heart defect that nearly killed her as an infant. Bernadette is a prize-winning architect known for “green” design long before anyone even knew what that meant. The marriage is interesting and happy.

But what most people don’t know is that Bernadette is agoraphobic. She does everything possible to avoid having to leave her odd house (originally it was a school and for the most part, nothing has changed despite the fact that the family lives there). She takes Bee to school every day, and does what’s absolutely necessary outside the house. Beyond that, she has a personal assistant (a person somewhere in India she has never met but with whom she communicates via email and text messaging) who literally manages Bernadette’s life, and therefore the life of her family.

What carries this plot, however, and prevents the reader from wanting to dislike Bernadette and her weird life, is Bernadette herself. She is funny as hell and looks at life in a way that is so interesting and quirky. It’s no wonder that Bee loves her mother so very much.

And then, one day, not long before the family was to take a trip to Antartica to reward Bee for her perfect grades, Bernadette vanishes. No one knows why or where. Only Bee is certain that her mother will turn up.

I know this plot sounds weird, but I’m telling you that you can’t help but like Bernadette, and it makes the story fun and interesting. One of my favorite things about Semple’s writing is that, while there are quite a few characters and plot twists, and we only know these characters through emails and other documents, they don’t all sound the same. The reader gets a very good sense of who these people are, for better and for worse.

The ending was clever and satisfying and just the way I would have wanted it.

Please don’t do what I could have easily done – been turned off by the format. I can’t recommend this book enough.

Here is link to the book.

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Thursday Thoughts

Holiday Nana’s Whimsies Shop
I am starting to make some items for my Etsy shop – Nana’s Whimsies Shop – for the holidays. My Etsy shop hasn’t generated a lot of income, but at least it gives me somewhat of a reason to crochet. I love to crochet, and have given almost everyone I can think of a handmade afghan. Anyway, if you are so inclined, check out my shop. There’s a link at the top of my blog. Here is a Christmas afghan you simply MUST have for, well, someone….

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Pizza Pizza
We may or may not have stopped at Fox’s Pizza before we went to Wilma’s house when we arrived in Chicago last week. What the heck, we thought. She probably won’t notice that hour that we could have been with her. And we were fearful that we wouldn’t make it again. We, of course, in fact did make it one more time. Besides seeing Wilma, it’s the best thing about being in Chicago. As we eat the pizza, we talk endlessly about what exactly it is about that particular pizza that makes it so delicious. Is it the sausage? Is it the pizza sauce? Is it the crust? We still don’t have an answer. More research is undoubtedly necessary!….

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Forgetful Today and Tamale
Yesterday Bill and I made a trip to Tamale Kitchen located a bit south of us to see if their tamales are as good as the ones we get in Mesa at Old El Paso Tamales. They weren’t. They are, however, pretty darn good. One of the things I like best about Old El Paso Tamales is that they have different kinds varying from pork and other meat to corn to sweet. Every one of them is delicious. The Tamale Kitchen offers two choices – hot or mild. I had the hot, and as I said, they were good. However, after we left, we drove all the way to Joann’s Fabrics before I realized that I had forgotten my purse at the tamale place. Left it hanging on the chair, as I do several times a year, someplace or other. It’s a terrible habit of mine. Thus far, I’ve been lucky. The purse has always been found by an honest person who hasn’t taken a single thing. Bill bought me a clip-on purse a couple of years ago as his solution to my problem. However, while in theory it is a great idea, in practice it is uncomfortable and unwieldy. I simply have to remember to pick up my purse when I leave someplace. Argh. By the way, it was there, safely tucked behind the counter.

Fruits and Vegetables
While we were visiting Wilma, Smith Crossing had a Farmers’ Market on site. It was supposed to be outdoors in the terrace area, but it happened to rain that day. Instead, the farmers set up their goods on a table in a hallway that has a lot of foot traffic, well, walker traffic. As you can see, the fruits and veggies looked delicious. I bought a locally-grown pear, and will attest to its sweetness and freshness. I’m just not sure how much they sold because no one cooks. Still, it’s nice that the facility offers a variety of activities….

smith-crossing-farmers-market

I Always Cry at Weddings
And last, but not least, here is a photo that I probably look at 10 times a day, and laugh every time I do so. Cole was the ring bearer at his Auntie Sineat’s wedding this summer in Maine, and he was not crazy about his role…..

cole-crying-wedding

Ciao.

I Will Raise You Up

Following my couple of days of being under the weather with a nasty cold, I was prepared to write an absolutely hilarious post about the difficulties faced when you’re sniffly and feverish. You know, numerous dirty tissues piling up on the table near your bed, losing your voice, never knowing which nasal cavity will plug up next. I was prepared to include lots of complaining and reasons for you all to feel very sorry for me.

And then I learned yesterday that my good friend, who has been diagnosed with cancer and has spent the past few months feeling nauseous, losing her hair, and battling never-ending fatigue, has been told that her tumor is inoperable.

Suddenly my  cold complaints weren’t funny any more. A few sniffles, a temperature only slightly above normal, a bit of hacking. Not worth a single complaint.

Not when my friend is looking at her own  illness with such amazing courage and grace. From the moment she learned her diagnosis, she has not complained. At least not to me. In fact, she recently told me, “You know what I’ve learned about myself? I’m pretty darn strong.”

My sister Jen says while no one understands why bad things happen to people, she is convinced that God never turns his back. When things get difficult, he lifts us up, she says. That’s how she describes it. He lifts us up.

She should know better than most. About 15 years ago, Jen’s daughter Maggie – 25 years old or so at the time — was hit by a drunk driver as she walked across the street. She was airlifted to a trauma hospital where her outlook was ominous. “That’s something no parent should have to deal with,” she told me. “No parent faced with something that terrifying can handle it alone.”

jensen17Jen told me that as soon as she got the phone call that no mother ever wants to get, she did something that no one would have predicted. Rather than falling  to pieces and becoming paralyzed with fear – something anyone who knows her would have predicted and understood completely – she instead became uncharacteristically calm, and began immediately making well-thought-out decisions and providing support to her family, and most importantly, to Maggie.

“God was with me during that horrible time,” she says. “He lifted me up.” Maggie recovered and now is married and is the mother of Austin and Lilly, featured regularly on Nana’s Whimsies.

And God is lifting up my friend. And her husband. And all of us who love her. She may not always think so, but God will not turn his back on her.

Coach Kubiak’s Not the Only One Who’s Sick

images1Nana’s Whimsies is cancelled today, and possibly tomorrow, due to Nana being sick with a cold or flu. Nothing life-threatening, I assure you, though it’s been a long time since a cold has knocked me on my bee-hind like this one has.

I suspect it’s just a cold, but I have been negligent about getting my annual flu shot, so there’s a possibility that negligence is catching up with me. You may or may not know that the Denver Broncos Coach Gary Kubiak was taken to the hospital following Sunday’s game with flu symptoms. I feel his pain.

I will be back, raring to go, very soon. I hope tomorrow.

Airborn on the Cheap

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Extremely Cheap Airlines Flight 1234, nonstop to Denver. We apologize that your flight was delayed by three hours, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Not to worry. Your crew killed the time in the Goose Tavern just across from your gate, so we are all raring to go. Well, maybe a bit tired, but nothing a little cocaine won’t take care of. The captain’s in the bathroom even as we speak.

Anyhoo, I have some really good news for you folks this afternoon. We have managed to fit a few more rows of seats into your airplane by providing absolutely NO leg room between rows. Well, to be fair, that’s probably better news for us than to you. Be that as it may, here we go people: Criss Cross, applesauce. You can do it! Cross those legs!

The above announcement wasn’t actually made on our flight home from Chicago Saturday afternoon, but only because the powers-that-be of the discount airlines haven’t yet thought of the so-called Criss Cross Applesauce Solution. By the way, if you are a baby boomer without grandkids, I will inform you that Criss Cross Applesauce is what we used to call sitting Indian style. Changing what that style of sitting is called is political correctness based on the presumption that Indians probably never sat that way.

As it is, the amount of legroom between seats on both Frontier Airlines (which we flew TO Chicago) and Spirit Airlines (which we flew HOME to Denver) is laughable. My legs are about as short as they can possibly be without having my own reality television show and I was unable to cross them. And trying to pick up something you drop on the floor of the plane? That’s not going to happen. Poor Bill, and poor anyone else with normal-sized legs.

Still, Bill and I flew from Denver to Chicago and home again for just over $200 for both of us. At the end of the day, provided I’m not flying more than a couple of hours, I’ll put up with gnawing on my knees for a cheap fare. It is worth it in the end.

imgresEach time I fly, something happens that makes me think back to the golden days of travel. The days when you wore a dress instead of ripped sweat pants and a dirty t-shirt. Days when travelers were given a little meal served on a tiny plate featuring a chicken breast, soggy broccoli, and a roll that had been baked when dinosaurs walked the earth. Remember the little lukewarm salad? How could the salad be lukewarm, yet the meal be cold? But I digress. This time, the thing that made me stop and go “can this be true?” happened on our Frontier flight to Chicago. It was mid-morning and I did something I occasionally do. I purchased Bill and I each a Bloody Mary on the plane. I won’t linger on the part in which I had to fumble for my wallet in the minute space between my legs that straddled my carry-on bag. Persistence won out, and I finally handed the flight attendant my credit card, thinking all the while, “Well, at least I don’t have to leave a tip.” Oops. Too soon. Because yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, there was a line to leave a tip for the flight attendant. Apparently the days of flight attendants’ disdain at being called waiters- and waitresses-in- the- sky are over. I only left 15 percent given the fact that all the flight attendant had to do was hand me a little bottle of vodka and a can of Bloody Mary Mix. He didn’t even hand me a dish of Chex Mix.

One day before I die, I want to travel first class. I’ve never had that luxury, and it’s definitely on my bucket list. But I don’t want to waste my one-and-only first class ticket on flying someplace close. No, I will wait until I am flying to Hawaii or Miami, or maybe even Europe. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law recently flew to and from Australia first class. They had beds, my friends, beds in which they could stretch out and actually sleep. The last time Bill and I flew to France, I was sitting next to a Frenchman who needed a bath, and Bill was sitting next to an American tourist who spent the entire flight barfing into her little bag.

First class, and that’s a promise.

This post linked to the GRAND Social

Saturday Smile: I Love a Piano

Bill and I are visiting his mother at her retirement home in Orland Park, a suburb south of Chicago. It is pretty quiet at Smith Crossing, and particularly quiet in the assisted living unit where she lives. So the other day we decided to go out for a walk to just get out of the apartment. We got Wilma in her wheel chair and began wheeling around the very large facility. We were walking down a hallway in the independent living section where Wilma formerly resided, and Wilma pointed out that her friend lived in a particular unit. As though on cue, the door opened, and Wilma’s friend Dottie came out. She was surprised and delighted to see her old buddy, and invited us all in.

To my great surprise, just inside her doorway was a gorgeous black grand piano. It was shiny and spectacularly beautiful. “Will you play for us?” Wilma asked her friend.

Dottie proceeded to perform for us the most wonderful little concert. Moon River. Ebb Tide. Autumn Leaves. On and on.  She played beautifully.

“Did you perform professionally?” I asked her, and was quite surprised to hear her laugh. “Oh, my no Honey,” she said. “I can’t read a single note.”

She showed me her list of music. The list probably included 200 songs. Each song had a letter before the name. A. B. C. D. E. F. G. The first note of the song. From then on, she played entirely by ear. And it was beautiful. And she is 94.

 

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By the way, the folks at Smith Crossing asked her to play piano at the Friday afternoon cocktail party. You can’t make this stuff up. She didn’t have a tip jar.

Have a great weekend.

Friday Book Whimsy: Arrowood

searchI read and loved Laura McHugh’s debut novel The Weight of Blood, a creepy story that took place in the Ozark region of Missouri. So I was excited to read her newest novel Arrowood: A Novel, and I wasn’t disappointed. It was a page-turner, indeed.

The story is set in an old mansion on the banks of the Mississippi River in Iowa that was home to the Arrowood family for generations. So how do you get any better than a mystery set in a creepy old house?

Arden Arrowood was a young girl when her toddler twin sisters disappeared from the mansion on her watch, never again to be seen or heard.  Now, 20 years later, she has inherited the mansion upon the death of her estranged father. At loose ends in her life, Arden is happy to return to the mansion, which she feels was the only place where she really felt at home in her life.

But the house brings back the memories of that day, and she feels compelled to try to solve the mystery of what happened those many years ago. Where did the pretty twin girls go?

I mentioned in the first paragraph that The Weight of Blood took place in the Ozarks. The reason that is even important is because the author is masterful at making the setting part of the story. The town where the mansion is located is an actual town in the southeast tip of Iowa, barely within the state boundaries. I presume her depiction is realistic. It is easy to envision the line of old mansions lining the riverbed as the author so ably describes. That alone makes the story worthwhile.

But the plot is what the reader really sinks his or her teeth into. The story challenges the reader to think about what we really remember in our lives. It’s like the childhood game where one person whispers something into someone’s ear and by the end of the line of children, the story is completely different.

I loved this book and the characters. The ending, while somewhat surprising, had a realistic ring to it when the reader thinks back to the tips we read along the way.

Great, if somewhat spooky, book.

Here is link to the book.

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Meals and Memories Redux

This blog originally ran on November 12, 2013. I like this particular post because it includes fond memories of my mother, who I miss every day.

A few weeks ago, when Bill and I were still in Arizona, my brother David and I were sitting outside late in the afternoon. Talk turned towards our childhood, as it often does whenever any combination of the siblings gathers.

I think we all agree that we had a wonderful childhood. None of us ever doubted that our parents loved us. Times were different, however. There wasn’t a lot of “I love you’s” tossed around though we knew they did. A term you hear thrown around these days is “helicopter parent.” You know, the parent who hovers around their child making sure no harm ever comes to little Junior or Juniorette. I think it’s safe to say that neither my mother nor my father would ever have been accused of being a helicopter parent.

Here’s an example: My mother was a very sound sleeper. Because of this, it really took a lot of guts for any of us to wake her up in the middle of the night. We knew it would involve a lot of shaking of her shoulders. Eventually, she would leap up in bed with a loud, “What is it?” Gulp. It had better be good because by this time Dad was awake.

For me, it was either “I’m going to throw up,” or “I can’t sleep.” If I was going to throw up, she was liable to ask me why I was telling her this in her bedroom instead of leaning over the toilet in the bathroom. And the “I can’t sleep”, well, that just got on her very last nerve.

Her answer to that particular complaint, without exception, was (say it with me Siblings), “Nobody ever died from a lack of sleep. Go back to bed.” I have no recollection of her ever getting out of her bed to tuck me back into my bed.

By the way, as an adult, I can certainly see, clear as day, just how silly it is to awaken someone to tell them that you can’t sleep. But for some reason it made perfect sense to me as a 7-year-old.

On the other hand, it wasn’t a good idea for anyone to bring harm or even angst to any of her children. Do so, and out came the Mother Lion. I clearly remember when a neighbor boy who was a year or so older than me and a bully before people became concerned about bullies chased me down, held me to the ground, and kissed me on the lips. I was probably 7 or 8 years old. I broke free and ran to my mother in tears. I vividly remember that she went to her closet, got the broom, and chased him all the way back to his house. She may not have caught him, but I’m sure he felt the bristles on the back of his neck.

But back to David and my conversation that day. We were talking about Mom’s good cooking. He told me his favorite meal and I told him mine. It got me to thinking about her cooking, so this week I asked all my siblings what meal they would have Mom make if she could come back to cook one dinner for them.

My sister Beckie’s response: Mom’s fried chicken. My mom, by the way, always claimed that she couldn’t cook a lick when she got married. All of her cooking skills were learned from her mother-in-law. I’m sure that’s true as my mom was the youngest of 13 kids, and her mom died before my mom was married, and sick for much longer than that. Not in a position to teach my mom to cook. So Mom’s fried chicken is actually my grandmother’s fried chicken, and now my fried chicken. Don’t confuse this chicken with southern-style because it isn’t crunchy. Instead, it is tender and flavorful.

My Family’s Fried Chicken

Ingredients
1 frying chicken, cut into 10 pieces (my mother always cut each breast into two pieces}
1-2 c. flour, well-seasoned with salt and pepper
Butter and vegetable oil, half and half, deep enough to fill a pan to a depth of about a quarter of an inch

Process
Preheat the butter and oil in the fry pan until it’s hot enough to sizzle if you flick a drop of water into the pan. Dredge the chicken pieces in the flour, shaking off the excess. Lay the pieces skin-side-down into the hot oil. Cook until it’s nicely brown, 5-6 minutes. Turn over and do the same on the other side. It doesn’t have to be cooked all the way through. Only fry a few pieces at a time or your shortening will cool down too much and your chicken pieces won’t brown nicely.

As you remove the chicken pieces from the pan, place them into a roasting pan. (Conversely, you can place them temporarily on a plate and return all of the pieces to the pan to finish. Make sure your pan is oven-proof and has a lid if you choose this option.) Cover the roasting pan with aluminum foil and place into a preheated 350 degree oven for an hour or so until the chicken is cooked through and falls off the bone.

Nana’s Notes: Personally, I believe a cast iron skillet is imperative to make good fried chicken. Having said this, I must say I don’t believe my mother used a cast iron skillet. Still, you would have to pry my lovely well-seasoned iron skillet out of my hand to make me fry chicken in a regular skillet. I used to fry the chicken, place the pieces on a plate until finished, pour out most of the grease, return the chicken to that pan, cover and finish cooking it in the oven. Now, however, I fry the chicken and put the pieces into a toss-away aluminum roasting pan, cover it with tin foil and finish it in the oven. There is no getting around it. Frying chicken is messy business. Also, I add a bit of cayenne pepper to my seasoned flour. Don’t tell my mother.