You Bet Your Life

My sister Jen FaceTimed me on Friday and said, “The good news is we don’t have to watch the Broncos lose this weekend since they played last night.” She was right. We had a 9-10 day reprieve from the emotional rollercoaster that comes with being a Broncos fan as of late.

I enjoyed watching the Arizona Cardinals beat the Texans yesterday afternoon. At one point, the lowly Texans (who, frankly, make the Broncos look like Tom Brady is their QB) led by the confusing score of 5 – 0. A safety and a field goal early in the game was responsible for the odd baseball-like score. At the end of the game, which ended in a final score of 31-5 with the Cards being the victors, the announcers told the listeners that in the history of the NFL, there has never been a game with a final score of 31-5.

We keep track of everything these days. Stats are King, particularly in the Wide, Wide World of Sports. It’s apparently important to keep track of every football statistic known to man, from how many football games have had a final score of 31-5 to how many touchdown passes have been thrown by left-handed quarterbacks while standing on the heel of their right foot and passing to the left side of the field. And those stats are right at the fingertips of the announcers.

I don’t mind the stats since I’m a bit of a geek about statistics myself. I can’t keep track of things myself, but I like when others do. During March Madness, my great nephew Carter devised a statistical system to pick teams that would make Michael Lewis (of Moneyball fame) want to write a book about him. He’s not old enough to gamble, but when he is, watch out.

But speaking of gambling, is anyone but me annoyed by the gambling commercials which seem to run nonstop during football games? I don’t keep up with federal legislation since I learned from my professional career that, like sausage, you don’t want to see how laws are made. Apparently, however, something changed that resulted in legalized gambling made easy. You download an app, and you can bet on everything from who is singing the national anthem to how many interceptions the Denver Broncos’ QB will throw (no matter who it is) on any given day.

My religion doesn’t prohibit drinking or dancing or women wearing pants to church. It also doesn’t explicitly prohibit gambling. So it isn’t a religious objection that I have to the practice. I simply think that when we look back in a few years, the numbers of people addicted to gambling will have increased significantly. Why, you can place a bet while sitting in your chair with your smart phone in one hand and a Bud Light in the other. And who doesn’t want to be a Winner Winner Chicken Dinner?

Except winners are about as rare as Broncos left tackle Garret Bolles making it through a game without a holding penalty. Hey! I should bet on that.

By the way, the last time the Arizona Cardinals were 7 – 0, Gerald Ford was president.

3 thoughts on “You Bet Your Life

  1. Jennie m happy for Cardinal fans!
    Those commercials are getting on my last nerve. I mute the TV every single time.

  2. I am in total agreement on commercial overload: Let me name names: Caesars Sportsbook, Sport Kings, Liberty Mutual insurance, and every medicine one. Who goes to their doctor and says “could I have some of that **** for my problem?” My mute button is exhausted! I am there for the evening news.

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