How many Gloors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I’m guessing, but I think any of us could manage to change a light bulb all by ourselves. Putting together a bed, however, is another matter. The truth is, it took four of us, a couple of hours, and three beers to put together our brand new king-sized bed.

I know many of my readers right now are thinking Lordy, again with the bed. But it has been a bit of an adventure to get it to where it’s supposed to be.

You might recall that I ordered our bed from Tuft & Needle based on the strong recommendation of my nephew and his wife. Once Bill and I went online and selected the mattress we wanted (and there are only three choices) it was easy as could be to order the mattress, the foundation, and the frame. It probably took 10 minutes of my time. I paid an extra $150 for their White Glove Service. They would then send the bed to a third party company who would deliver the bed, set it up, and remove the old mattress. Or so they said.

However, when the company showed up on Thursday, they unloaded a box with a mattress only. No foundation. They would take our old mattress but not the frame. Since two beds would not fit into our bedroom, we decided to have them take the old mattress, and we would just sleep on the new mattress on the floor. It felt like college again. Only with Parkinson’s and arthritis. Jen scared the delivery men into taking apart the frame and putting it in the garage. I wasn’t surprised. She can be very scary.

After three nights on the mattress on the floor, our box foundation turned up yesterday. It was, of course, not put together. T & N must take lessons from IKEA, because it was in pieces. Somehow we needed to get the mattress that was sitting on the floor upended, so that Bill could put together the box foundation and set it on the bed frame that was leaning against our bedroom window. The mattress weighs in the neighborhood of a thousand pounds. Well, maybe not that much. But too heavy for a man with Parkinson’s, a woman with arthritis, and a woman wearing a sling because she had a full shoulder replacement three weeks ago.

Soon I was on the phone with my brother Dave. Hey Bro, I said. Are you going to be in our neighborhood today anytime and explained our situation. I promised him we only needed him to help us lift the mattress up against the wall because we could surely let it plop down onto the box foundation once it was put together, even with our infirmities.

He arrived very shortly. And in the way that life happens, it wasn’t nearly as easy as it sounded. He was able to lift the mattress up against the wall. Bill was able to put together the foundation. But things wouldn’t go together as one would hope. At any given time, every one of us was working on getting the bed together.

The final straw was when the holes on the headboard that I had purchased from Wayfair didn’t line up to the screws on the foundation. I was feeling dejected when I heard the sound of drilling coming from our bedroom. When the holes won’t line up, you make new holes, said Bill.

I know at various times in what became a very long project, we looked like the Keystone Kops. What we lacked in skill, we made up with tenacity. And the result is wonderful…..

But I’m pretty sure next time I call my brother and ask if he has a couple of minutes to help us with an itty bitty problem, he will tell me, “I would love to Kris, but I have to wash my hair.”