Shingles

“Would you like a piece of toast for breakfast?” I asked Bill one day last week.

“Sure, sounds good,” he answered.

So I got out a couple of pieces of the high-fiber bread that the nurse practitioner had suggested I eat as part of my effort towards a high-fiber diet in light of my recent health situation. He highly recommended the bread. Killer Dave’s Bread, he called it. He said it was his absolute favorite bread. In fact, it is actually called Dave’s Killer Bread. We purchased it last week from Costco, two loaves shrink-wrapped together in the old familiar Costco way – designed for big families.

I toasted two slices, smeared cream cheese on Bill’s, and carefully dotted the bread with his favorite grape jelly. He took a bite without looking up from his Ipad.

One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand.

“Hmmmm,” he finally said. “I could use this bread as siding for the playhouse.”

And so he could. Sorry Jeff-the-nurse-practitioner. The bread tastes like a shingle.

I took a bite of my own toast smeared with peanut butter. I chewed……………and chewed………….and chewed some more. My friends, I am simply not cut out for a high-fiber diet.

And yet I must learn. Because I don’t want to end up in the hospital simply because I am opposed to eating shingles.

Honestly, it’s not accurate to say I’m not cut out for a high-fiber diet. I like lots of things that are high in fiber. In fact, in 2011 following my surgery, I had to eat a low-fiber diet for a period of time, and I found it really difficult. I love most vegetables and nearly all fruits. I put a tablespoon of Benefiber in my coffee each morning. I can’t quite stomach whole wheat pasta no matter how animated Rachael Ray gets about it, but I do buy the high-fiber white pasta.

20150731_085457But when it comes to bread, I want bread and not shingles. I want my bread – at least my sandwich bread – to be fluffy and not weigh nearly the same as a brick. There you have it. I’m a child of Wonder Bread – Builds Strong Bodies 12 Ways. If it was good enough for Captain Kangaroo, why it’s good enough for this baby boomer.

As for the bread I recently purchased from Costco, I have decided that in fact it should be called Killer Dave’s Bread, since it is liable to do just that. One loaf is in the freezer. The other I will give an ample ol’ college try. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s what Killer Dave says anyway.

 

5 thoughts on “Shingles

  1. Jennie, we aren’t going to talk about that with reference to Kris……

    Tell me you all did not eat Wonder bread. Reinie made good bread!

    Anyhow, with reference to Killer Dave’s bread, may I suggest croutons? I’d hate to waste all the sugar and cream for bread pudding.

    • Croutons are a great idea. And you’re right about Dad’s bread. The only time we ate Wonder Bread was when we were on vacation and Mom would buy it to make sandwiches for our picnics!

  2. I bet if you keep up eating Killer Dave’s bread toasted for just four loaves you will build up muscles like Killer Dave’s logo, and maybe even be able we to push that truck clutch pedal all the way down.

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