Every year, it’s the same. On Monday before Thanksgiving, I do my shopping for my Thanksgiving meal. I always concentrate very hard so that I remember to get everything so that I don’t have to go back into the fray. Every year, I am confident that it will be my only shopping trip before Thanksgiving.
The first last grocery shop, Bec always calls it. She, of course, is completely right.
This year, as other years, I told Bill that I am going to reeeeeeeally concentrate on my list and get every single thing I need. I am certain it will be my only grocery shop. He looked up from his reading and said with absolute certainty, “No it won’t.”
“No, I’m really sure this year I can do it,” I said.
By 3 o’clock on Monday afternoon, I had already gone to the grocery store twice more after my first last shop. King Soopers didn’t have the turkey wings I need for my make-ahead gravy so that necessitated a trip to Safeway, and then later in the afternoon I realized I needed gasoline and was 8 points ($8) short of getting 20 cents off each gallon. That meant, of course, that I had to go buy a minimum of $8 worth of groceries. Because I was so thorough with my Thanksgiving grocery list, I couldn’t think of a single thing I needed to buy for our dinner. So I bought a couple of steaks that I threw in the freezer. Steaks never go to waste.
And, if you’re counting, I’m already on my third last grocery shop.
Well, it’s now Tuesday morning, and I can’t think of a single thing I don’t have for my Thanksgiving meal. Of course, I haven’t started preparing it yet. But I’m certain, CERTAIN, I TELL YOU, that I will not have to go to the grocery store any more this week.
And that’s a good thing, too, because at 10 o’clock on Monday morning, the shoppers were already getting cuckoo and the aisles were nearly unmanageable because of a deluge of shopping carts. And I must also tell you that at 10:10 a.m. on the Monday before Thanksgiving, King Soopers was already out of Jimmy Dean pork sausage unless I was willing to muddle the purity of Mom’s Sausage Dressing with maple-syrup- or sage-flavored pork sausage.
My mother just rolled over in her grave. Don’t worry Mom, I found another brand. It will be fine. Nobody will notice the added wood fiber.
When at last I finished filling my basket, I got into line and began my perusing of the magazine covers which tell me every single thing I need to know about Kim Kardashian (whose gossip seems to be centered around her derriere), Jennifer Aniston (elope with him for heaven’s sake Jennifer; you’re not getting any younger), and Princess Kate (who apparently is having to put up with a snarky queen; perhaps Elizabeth is just cranky because she’s had to put up with 88 years of hairspray).
The only disconcerting moment came when I realized that the “Sexiest Man Alive” as designated by People Magazine was someone I had never heard of in my life. Chris Hemsworth. And I simply can’t believe he is really the sexiest man alive. As far as I’m concerned, he’s not all that and a bag of chips.
But alas, no one asked me.